How To Ask A Girl Out

Stop Hanging Out With Women and Start Dating Them

by BRETT AND KATE MCKAY on JANUARY 16, 2008 · 

Over the past few years, many social observers have noted that young adults are dating less. Instead, dating is being replaced by “hanging out” with members of the opposite sex. Dating and hanging out are two completely different things.

Hanging out consists of people getting together in groups and doing stuff together. It could be going to a club, a restaurant, or just staying home and playing Wii. The atmosphere is relaxed and relations among opposite sexes never rises above the level of friendship (or friendship with benefits). There is nothing wrong with hanging out, but it is not a replacement for dating.

Dating consists of pairing off with someone in a temporary commitment so you can get to know the person better and perhaps start a long term relationship with them.

Why the decline in dating?

There are probably lots of factors that have contributed to the decline of dating amongst young adults. Here are few possible ones:

1. Young adults don’t like to commit. It seems like people in my generation aren’t big on making commitments to people or to organizations. Generation Y is too busy trying to “find themselves” in order to commit to anybody or anything. Companies have complained about the turn over rate of Generation Y. Companies invest lots of money training new employees only to have them leave after two years so they can find a new job. This reluctance to commit has carried over to the interaction between the sexes. Young adults don’t want to be tied down to someone just in case they get an itch to go on a backpacking trip to Europe.

2. The internet has retarded Generation Y’s social skills. Instead of telling a person directly that they’re interested in them by asking them on a date, Generation Y sends Crush alerts on Facebook. While the internet has made connecting with people easier, it has also made us lazier at establishing meaningful relationships. If you’re over 18 and you’re still using Facebook applications to let someone know you’re interested in them, you need to be punched in the face.

3. Feminism. Before I receive the wrath of all the feminists telling me it’s a typical man thing to blame women for the decline in dating, I ask that you hear me out. I think feminism is great. It’s great that women can choose to have a career, be a stay-at-home mom, or do both.

But it does make things confusing for men. Navigating relations among the sexes is a bit more tricky today. Men have all these questions go through their head: Who asks? If I ask, will she think I’m too forward? Who pays for the date? Do we split the bill? All these uncertainties cause men to avoid dating altogether and opt for hanging out with women instead.

4. Men today are wussies. Men today aren’t very resilient. They don’t know how to handle rejection or failure, so they avoid rejection or failure by not asking women out on dates.

Why date?

A lot of men today don’t seem to believe it, but getting hitched to the right woman is a very desirable thing.

So while there is nothing wrong with hanging out, it’s not a replacement for dating. Dating is the pathway to finding your true love and eventually settling down and getting married. Marriage is a one on one relationship, so you need to start getting to know women on a one on one basis. You might be hanging out with her and your friends right now, but if you don’t take her on date, she’ll forever be just your friend. So, start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

Resurrect Dating

So, you’re ready to start dating and stop hanging out. It really is not that hard to get a date with a woman. Here are some guidelines to remember as you take hanging out up a level to dating.

1. She wants you to ask. Despite the rhetoric you hear about the liberated woman, women still appreciate it when a guy asks her out on a date. They like when men take the initiative. I’ve heard lots of successful young professional women lament the fact that men don’t ask them out. They’re beautiful, smart, and charming, but don’t have a man. Be a man and ask these women out.

2. Asking is easy. Asking a woman out on a date isn’t rocket science. When you ask, though, do it in person or over the phone. If you’re poking a woman you’re interested in on Facebook, you lose any credibility as a man.

3. Keep dates simple. Dates don’t have to be huge, expensive affairs. Keep it simple. If you want to keep things informal, ask her out for lunch or coffee. If you want a more romantic date, invite her over to your place and make dinner for her. She’ll be impressed that you know how to cook. The whole point of dating is to get some one on one interaction with a person to find out if she is someone you’d like to start a long term relationship with. Simple and frequent dates will assist you in this.

4. Prepare for rejection. Face it. Not every woman you ask out is going to say yes. Prepare for that. It’s no big deal if she says no. Think about it. You’re no worse off getting rejected than you were before you asked. You didn’t have a date with her before, you don’t have a date with her now. Your situation has not changed.

5. Just do it, damn it. So what are you waiting for? Quit reading this post right now and pick up your cell phone. Call a woman and ask her on a date. Stop hanging out and start dating. Stop being scared of commitment. Commitment is liberating, not confining.

One Night Stand

Sex on the beach: Why settle for the drink when you can have the real thing? Your chances of a one-night stand might increase this summer, according to a recent UK survey finding that 40 percent of women under 30 said they’ve done the deed during vacation.

This isn’t a huge surprise. Inhibitions drop when you escape business attire, Microsoft Excel, and your overbearing boss for a week. Still, I find it disconcerting that women are often judged for such encounters, and sometimes regret the decision as a result.

Consider a Durham University study in which 80 percent of men rated their feelings after a one-night stand positively, compared to only 54 percent of women. What’s more, many of the women reported feeling “used.” Not shocking when you think about it. After all, “walk of shame” usually refers to a woman.

But if both parties are consenting, what’s so shameful?

“It’s the lock and key thing,” says one of my guy friends.  “A woman who has casual sex is like a weak lock because she’ll open for anyone.” [Insert I’m-so-sick-of-this-analogy groan here.] “But a key [the man] that opens any lock is the master key.”

Translation: A woman is supposed to “stay strong” and resist temptation. And if she doesn’t? She’s flawed. Weak. (Can someone please demand a product recall on these completely inadequate locks?) Besides, should sex really be about breaking into something? (*Cough, slippery slope, cough.*)

Now, I know the majority of guys are respectful, but I’ve heard some variation of this “lock and key” analogy—even from friends, nice guys—way too many times. Not only is it a double standard, it’s stopping many of you from having truly amazing sex. Just imagine if a woman didn’t feel like she was “giving in,” doing something wrong, and actually started enjoying herself. Everyone would win.

The first step: Be respectful during your one-night stands—whether or not either of you wants a relationship. The more respectful men are, the more (and better) sex everyone will have. Here’s how.

While you’re hooking up
Be generous. No one really expects a one-night stand or first-time sex to be mind-blowing. You don’t need to be amazing—women know that there’s a lot of pressure on guys to perform—but you should try. It says that you care about her enjoyment, too . . . even if it’s only a one-time thing. 

After the act
Talk to her. I don’t mean dirty talk (unless that’s what you’re into). I’m talking about a person-to-person conversation afterward. (If you’re too tired immediately after, do it the next morning.) It doesn’t need to be “sweet nothings,” and you don’t need to ask about her hopes and dreams—just something that indicates she’s more than a means for your pleasure. Maybe even cuddle. (Men like it, too.) What not to do: Roll over afterward, then point to the door the next morning.

Think of it this way: You both shared something—whether there were emotions involved or not. Respect the moment (and her)—even if you have no intention of seeing each other again.

The next morning
Be a gentleman. You don’t necessarily need to make a gourmet breakfast and walk her home. But if it’s raining in the morning, lend her an umbrella. If she left her jacket at the bar, lend her a sweatshirt. You get the idea. Trust me, being polite isn’t going to make her want a relationship if she doesn’t want one in the first place.

Long-term
Return to normalcy. Let’s say you were friends—and you don’t want anything more or less. Behave exactly as you did before hooking up. If you Gchat her everyday at work, then Gchat her everyday at work. It’s only weird and awkward if someone makes it weird and awkward. Don’t let it be you.

You may have noticed that the foundation of some of this advice is simple consideration for another human being. (I mean, you’d probably lend an umbrella to an acquaintance if he didn’t have one, right?) See, a funny thing happens when you see the woman in your bed, not as weak lock, but as—wait for it—a woman in your bed. Respect follows without a second thought—as will better, uninhibited sex.

Reference: http://blogs.menshealth.com/mh-feminist/have-the-best-one-night-stand-of-your-life/2012/06/29/#ixzz22YGD62M7

Sign she is not The One

The bad times outnumber the good
You should feel secure and content in your relationship at least eighty percent of the time. If you can’t remember the last time you actually had fun together without arguing or things getting fraught it could be time to pack your bags.

They constantly put you down
A bit of friendly teasing is cute, but if your other half seems to get their kicks from making you the butt of all their jokes or belittling you in public, alarm bells should definitely be ringing. Putting someone down – especially in front of others - is a power game that you should play no part in.

They refuse to talk things through
All relationships hit rocky patches, but if your partner deals with things by shutting down and giving you the ultimate passive-aggressive silent treatment you’re never going to be able to work through your issues together. It’s time to move on.

Little things get on your nerves
Okay, so it’s annoying when he/she leaves the cap off the toothpaste or forgets to put the milk back in the fridge, but those aren’t deal breakers. It’s when you start to feel irrationally annoyed by silly little things like his hairy toes or her singing in the shower that you know they’re not the one for you.

They take you for granted
Familiarity is a wonderful thing, but not when it’s at the expense of good manners. It’s part of your partner’s job spec to make you feel appreciated and loved. If they’re not upholding their side of the bargain, they don’t deserve to have you.

You disagree about the future
If you’re in continual disagreement about major life choices that lie ahead such as whether or not to start a family together, you need to think carefully about your next move. Hanging around hoping to change their mind is a risky gamble.

They forget important stuff
No matter how busy or stressed your other half is, there’s no excuse for forgetting important things like your birthday, anniversary…or name! It’s a forewarning of further neglect to come.

You can’t stand their friends
The company a person keeps says a lot about them. Feeling uncomfortable or unwelcome around the people he or she holds dear is an early indicator of friction and tension in years to come.

There’s no spark
Cast your mind back to when you first started dating. Were you excited every time you heard from them? And are you now? Those in lasting relationships still get a rush when their lover sends them a text or gives them a call. If you no longer do, we seriously doubt they’re the one.

They don’t like your family
If they love you, they need to be accepting of those you hold dear too. If they make snide remarks about your family or behave rudely towards them, it doesn’t bode well for your future happiness together.

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes ma'am.... How can i help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can. Are you ready to proceed?Well, I'm not very technical but i think I'm ready. What do I do first? The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma'am?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Lets see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self Esteem,Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt frm your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it'll no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its' own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment are completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: OOps! I have an error message. It says, "Error - program not running on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down Self-Acceptance, then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise your Worth; Acknowledge Your Limitation.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming, Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey, My Heart is filling up with new files! Smile is playing on my monitor, and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others, it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: I promise to do just that. By the way, what's your name?

Tech Support: Just call me Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great physician, or simply "AM". Most people feel all they need is an annual check-upto stay heart-healthy. But the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency.


Notes: Copyright of some IT geek who sent me damn long ago...

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good....but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men......Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something.

Source: Averdim.blogdrive.com.