Read this post by Averdim before the start of a new year, 2008. I like how he creates analogy between the fist and the heart. His linguistic skill is simply terrific. Enjoy...

They say the size of your heart is similar to the size of your fist. I would like to think that there's more to it. A clenched fist in a typical Malaysian day will get all hot and sweaty and uncomfortable in 5 minutes. Spread it out into a palm, let the breeze take the discomforts away.

Like the fist, the heart shouldn't be shut away for too long. It will get sweaty and breathe in on itself; it'll get tensed, tired. Open up, let the cool breeze of sincere affections free you of your restrictions to express.

If you don't open your palms and show your hand, how hence will the breeze caress over it? Besides, you are not necessarily showing everything; there are still grooves on your palm that would still keep the important parts warm; reminding us of our roots and motivations.

Anyway, have a wonderful new year and may 2008 be the year where all your dreams and hopes are fulfilled. Forget those past grudges and march on to a new year with wonderful resolution and positively believing in yourself that 2008 would be the year which is gonna be filled with joy cum excitement. Hereby, I would like to wish all my invisible readers:

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

How I wish I could return in time and cherish those moments with you. The moments when we'll make fun of each other, scare each other in library and "study" together though I wasn't 100% concentrating on it.... You would exchange your study tips for my words of wisdom and every night you would call to have a night chat when you completed studying. How I wish those moments were eternal, never ending, and ever lasting.

Upon being drifted apart from you for a period of time, I realised that I missed your voice. The voice that is filled with excitement and curiosity when you want to express yourself. I had never presume you're a dull/weird/strange/abnormal person though many would think that you are one of those.

You're simply memorable, I blame myself for he who knew you first...... If fantasy ever come alive, I would want a key to return in time even if it would cause me to perish in present time.... I finally realised the importance of time, every year, week, day, hour, minutes and second are worth more than every treasure mankind could discover on earth in their life time.

I'll conclude that until one morning, I'll wake up thinking about something else, and then I'll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It happened before, it will happen again, I'll find love again.

-end-

A New Perspective

This mail was sent over by Derren, it is pretty amusing, take 5 minutes of your time and read on......

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the trip?' 'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked. 'Oh yeah,' said the son. 'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father. The son answered: 'I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.' Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we be grateful to everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, your family and friends because today is the only guarantee you have.

PLANS LINE UP

1)Hao Long's Birthday, might be booking a VIP room in Ruums or Maison (6 December)

2)Youth Camp at Cameron Highlands - (8-12 December)

3)Kedah (Pei Ling's place) then to Langkawi,Sitiawan - (14 -???? December)

4)Christmas eve dinner with Tan family -(24 December)

6)Christmas dinner with her.. but I think it would be cancelled since I have no car for now. DAMN !(25th December)

7)New Year eve in KL or Genting. Depending on the gang. (31st December)

It's already the 29 and I have not started working. How am I suppose to find that much of money to enjoy this holiday. SHIT!!!
So much to be done, so little to spend.

Today is just one damn hectic day but satisfaction acquired, started off when the car couldn't start which needed me to cancel the plan of going to the dentist, then waited for the mechanic to fix the car in a petrol station. Then I made my way to Summit,USJ so that I can meet up with this fella by the name of Alvin to discuss about a job he is offering: credit card promoter. As a result,we accepted the job and planning to have it started by January. For now, I think I will just go try out the job offered by my uncle as his assistant. He is a remisier a.k.a an agent of a stockbroking company and receives commission for each transaction handled. This would be a good chance for me to learn about the stock markets and exchange. A damn good experience I guess. I shall accept the job, what do I have to lose by the way, I don't think my uncle would exploit me.. =D

All to all, I simply needed $$$$$$$$$$$$$ .. Somebody spare me!!!!!!!!!!

That dreaded period of time finally ended. Some was in despair and some was jumping for joy with many plans ahead this holiday season before they proceed to their University.

As for us, (musketeers). Maison was the place. Drink, Dance, Chill, and ended the session with a meal of Bah Kut Teh in Klang at 6 in the morning. Unfortunately every happy moment will have a halt to it. This shit happened when I was trying to make an illegal U-turn to the shop just as other drivers do. However this fella still tried to cut me although my signal was flashing for like 5 seconds. As a result, my side door got destroyed by him and 'bargaining' with him is simply a waste of time. Damn.. Why must it happen on the first day of my holiday??? argh!!!

RM300 for the fine, + 1k for the door(insurance will cover this but not entirely)
One harsh and expensive lesson for an after exam outing. Despite all my rage, I'm grateful that there was no serious injuries. If I was driving the VIOS, I guess I wouldn't be here typing this anymore. =D Cheerz~ to the holiday for now...

I'm searching for a job while waiting for the results. Any recommendation?? anybody?? I have no hesitation whether it's illegal, semi-illegal or legal. Count me in. I NEED $$$$$$$..

Nigel's Birthday

Location: Nigel Dad's Apartment in Genting.
Date: 4 days before my A2 papers.. (>.<) We had a barbecue + cigar session, with loads of food and booze but only 2 girlz. Eventually,it was more like a boys night out. Not gonna elaborate further. Overall we had fun and I'm getting worried of my upcoming papers, Law, Socio, & Economics. Damn!!! Too late to regret. Picture tells a thousand words... Down ahead.

~Stuck In The Momment~

~"We'll follow U"~

~The rascality runs in the blood~ *notice the 2 kidz*

~Perpetuation of time is what I needed the most~

Lesson Of The Day

Proscrastination is like a dynamite, never fool with it until you have complete proficiency in handling it..
It hit me kinda bad. However keeping my fingers cross as 2 more torturing weeks are yet to come.

Lesson Of The Day:
Time management is blardy important in examinations, even a 7 minutes wastage could be a massive blow.. Sociology paper 1 needed us to complete 2 essay questions in 1 and a half hour, me being a smarty pant wasted 20 minutes for outline itself. Hence screwing up the 2nd question. That would be a 25 marks burn, and in order to keep the Reading University enrolment open, I will need at least 40/50 marks in my paper 2 to maintain the minimum requirement for entry...pwfft... Damn!. .

4 more days to the next paper.. I need to keep fighting... I'm constantly reminding myself that nothing is impossible and sky is the limit. So this would be it, a final and the greatest battle for academic grades in my life. Although I might have another choice which is HELP University but sad to say, I'm not good in adopting a new environment, I don't want a new atmosphere without them, my friends, my buddies, my pal, my classmates, PL-5.

THEM.....................

Artist : Lifehouse
Album : Who We Are
Song: First Time

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken

It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time
The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time

We're crashingInto the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time

Like being in love she said for the first time
Like being in love with you the first time

The Balance Of Love.

A woman dies after living a long, dignified life. Whe she meets God, she asks him something that has long bothered her. "If Man is created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"

God replies that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. And it is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people, relationships and God.

This confuses the woman, so God begins to explain:
When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always as they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove you own masks to let people know yours.

When someone steals from you, it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you love, for you never know when you might lose it. And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is the only guarantee you have.

When someone inflicts an injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is fragile. Protect and take care of your body as best you can because it's the only thing you are sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, don't judge them by how they look or act. Instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart.

When someone breaks your heart it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings will make up for all the past hurts put together.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is to forgive the offender without pretence. Forgiving those who have hurt us most is the most difficult, the most courageous, and the noblest thing man can do.

When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptation. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil.
Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.

Upon hearing the Maker's wisdom, the old woman becomes concerned that there were no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God tells her that man's capacity to love is the greatest gift he has. At the root of all kindness is love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson.

As the woman's curiosity deepens, God once again explains:
When someone loves us, it teaches us that love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness and acceptance can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one less evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone's life, whether by choice or chance, what will your lesson be. Will you teach love or harsh reality? Each one of us has the power over the balance of love. Use that power wisely.

My Birthday (in advance) & Last Day Of Class.

That is Derren.

Our last day

Muffins Made By Leena =)

Candles.

Sick And Happy Yellow Boy

The pictures tells it all again. I was feeling kinda sickly on my birthday but eventually they made my day. I was not suppose to come but the constant buzzing of my phone wakes me up in a way and being at home instead of college is simply not me. I'm simply energetic I think. Moreover staying at home would be a total waste of time since I wouldn't have the mood to study. A whole load of muffins and warm wishes from your fellow classmates along with presents OR medicine, porridge,and stuck in bed?? The former is obviously a better choice. ;)

13th Oct 2007

Many wishes flooded my phone when the clock strikes 12. I was dragged out by Ashley and the gang over to Bah Kut Teh along with beers though I was sleeping already at that time due to the effect of medicine. They accompany me up to 4am in the morning with loads of cheers and laughter and Wei Siang being the fortune teller palm-read everyone..

Lastly, I was flabbergasted when she came all the way to Klang from Damansara just to pass me my present and a cake. Truly appreciate what she had done, I guess that give me absolutely no reason to forget her birthday next year.. Who is she????

MY Angel, a blessing sent from above... *winkz*

Why We Love Beer

There's a good Van Morrison song (Hey, are there any bad ones? A couple, yeah) called "Got to Go Back" in which the Celtic belter sings:

Keep me away from porter or whiskey
Don't play anything sentimental, it'll make me cry

Van the Man is singing about his N-methyl-D-aspartic acid receptors, though we suspect he doesn't know it. NMDA receptors are part of the brain's system of neurons and synapses, and they relate to memory.

In other words, beer helps memory.
Scientist performed experiment with rats and found that they remembered things better after a couple of beers (the rats, not the scientist)
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa007&articleID=439863EB-E7F2-99DF-3FE0A7665EBFA7A3&pageNumber=1&catID=1

Previous research had found a correlation between alcohol consumption and the performance of the receptors. So, as only a scientist could put it, "We thought it was worth pursuing, since ethanol drinking is such a common pattern of human behavior."

Alcohol's effect on those receptors may explain why you think of her (you know who) after a couple of pints. Or why Red Sox fans, after a few, relive dark moments involving the Yankees.

One of the scientists says that drinking to drown your sorrows "could actually paradoxically promote traumatic memories and lead to further drinking, contributing to the development of alcoholism."

There's your early-warning system. When you start reminiscing, you've had enough.

Little Talk: I miss that smile. A smile of unpretentious soul. And it's only a week of not seeing her.. Overall I can sense that the chemistry is running low in a rapid speed. She seems to be slipping away; a gap could actually be seen. Distance? Time? Not showing enough? No idea at all. Heaven knows. =)

It was a fulfilling day yesterday and also a memorable one. With Leena's belated birthday party and David leaving for Sheffield,UK to further his studies, the night was a total blast overall. From Leena's place to the airport and then to Sunway for a session of sheesha but all the shops were closed and headed back to Asia Cafe for a chill out session with How Keat, another belated birthday boy whom I'm suppose to accompany him to Laundry Bar yesterday.

This would sum up for the holiday this time and hell is awaiting... I'm worshipping Satan for a blessing. My angels simply do not gave me the strength and courage I needed to get through this stage.. I gave up on you. It was never You, It was Me.. I'm too dependable on you and did not take the initiative to stand up by myself and walk through that dark phase, instead you provided me with a light and lifted me up with your fairy dust. I took those fairy dust for granted to fulfill my dark desires. I'm sorry..........

I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more time to be with you,
Every prayer has been answered ,
Every dream has come true,
And right here in this moment I smile when I get reminded of your smile.
Yes, it is U.
My Shooting Star.............

Why We Stare

We know why we stare at beautiful women, right?

Because they're beautiful, that's why. And it makes us feel good, and gives us ideas, and gives rise to fantasies that lift us above our humdrum lives.

And there's probably some caveman mentality going on there, too—we're always looking to procreate and spread our, well, seed among the most promising candidates we see.

It takes about half a second for a heterosexual man or woman to lock onto a hot member of the opposite sex.

It's called "attentional adhesion." As in, "Sorry, honey, I'm just suffering from attentional adhesion, but I'm almost over it. That Claritin helped."

A professor at Florida State took a long look at this phenomenon and found some startling facts.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070917112220.htm

Among them: Once we're in a committed relationship, we're just as likely to stare at attractive men as at attractive women. Why? We view them as rivals, says Jon Maner, Ph.D.

"Men tend to be most concerned with other men being more dominant, funny, or charismatic than they are. When they're feeling jealous, men are attentive to attractive men because they think their girlfriend or wife may be too," he says.

Maner says our radar has evolved over the eons so that we can quickly size up potential mates and potential rivals.

One modern-day drawback: Advertising, magazines and movies and TV know how much we like to look at beautiful women. So our standards have become artificially high.

"It can make us feel bad and can hurt our commitment to our partner," he says. "One strategy is to pay attention to normal-looking people because that may give us a more realistic standard of beauty and make us feel better about ourselves and our relationships."

-study was published in the journal of Personality And Social Psychology-

LITTLE TALK: I'm drench in pain again.. Mysteriously when she is not around I feel uneasy someway. Felt as if something is missing or incomplete for the day.

A2 trial is done and 2 weeks of holidays for all CAL students and after that would be hell when the classes start again.

A recap of the after-trial event when I should be worried than celebrating. We went over to Maison,KL for a night out to destress ourselves after all those sleepless nights reading up those blood coughing subjects that will give you an entire day of headache upon thinking about it.

Everything turn out quite well except for the part waiting for Nigel and our liquor got stolen when we left the table unattended for a few minutes. And also I ter-knock my car on the bumper. Thank God no cracks on it otherwise deep shit. Mom lectured me a lil about going to KL and not informing Dad that I'm going to be back late which left him waiting till 3am. Eventually I got the 'screwing' in the phone when he was drunk...

Here are some pictures of the night, most of it are blur except for these :

~Pei Ling & =)~

~Nigel & Pei Ling~

~Pei Ling & Derren~

~Nigel, S.Ling, P.Ling & Me (Derren was the cameraman)~

Extra class for Law tomorrow... CRAP!!!

Constantly reminding myself that feathers from different birds will not flock together...

Gotta get myself back to groove...

-end-

He sat on a stone, and allowed himself to become hypnotized by the horizon. He tried to deal with the concept of love as distinct from possession, and couldn't separate them. But she was a woman of the desert, and if anything could help him to understand, it was the desert.

And he sat there thinking, he sensed movement above him. Looking up, he saw a pair of hawks flying high in the sky. He watched the hawks as they drifted on the wind. Although their flight appeared to have no pattern, it made a certain kind of sense to the boy. It was just that he couldn't grasp what it meant. He followed the movement of the birds, trying to read something into it. Maybe these desert birds could explain to him the meaning of love without ownership.

He felt sleepy. In his heart, he wanted to remain awake, but he also wanted to sleep. "I'm learning the Language of the World, and everything in the world is beginning to make sense to me.... even the flight of the hawks," he said to himself. And, in that mood, he was grateful to be in love. When you are in love, things make even more sense, he thought..........

-The Alchemist-

Never Want To Let Go

I'm very grateful and thankful that YOU actually send me a blessing to guide me through this path of my life when everything is fragmented, and on the same time I took those blessings for granted and eventually now I'm dependent on it and never want to let it go for a better course.

But I'm constantly trying to let it go because I knew I don't deserve a beautiful blessing like this but eventually I just can't resist temptation. My inner self have been constantly telling me that she belongs to someone better. Someone that could give her a better living, a better life, a better love.

I have lost the courage to love,
I lose faith in myself.
I fear of losing her in the process.
I lost my confidence due to those past failures. I have been on the losing side and I already got used to it and now those feelings which has already been burried for a year wants resurrection which I'm not able to provide....

I'm not the person I used to be last time, how am I suppose to give the best of me and look after you..

I wish I have never travelled on this journey if I knew the destination would end up in this way. I wish for a perpetuation of time ; a journey that has no ending to it. And again nothing is eternal. Every happy thing will need to come to an end. 1 month counting and everything will all just be a dream again..

http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2007-08-23T10%3A13%3A00%2B08%3A00&max-results=7

Check out this post by Marina Mahathir on social business(microcredit) Prof Dr Mohammad Yunus, the founder of Grameen Bank @ 2006 Nobel Peace Price laureate.

Happy 50th Anniversary Malaysia!!! MERDEKA!
My merdeka eve wasn't a blast unlike others who spent theirs in Cyberjaya, Dataran merdeka, etc. spectating the fireworks events. So merdeka celebration in Ashley's house again like last year. Gulping beer and 'updating' myself on what is happening.

Discovery of the Day : Everyone is learning how to shuffle and Zhi Yen has talent in doing it, learning very quickly and all eyes were on him.. Cheerz*

Artist: Chris Daughtry
Title: Over You
Album: Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through

Did I really managed to get over 'everything'??
Still doubtful....

My Past Failed Me

"Where were you when I needed the most??"
The moment when I am in excruciating pain and needed someone to stand by my side to guide me through this bumpy path of life.

Every night I would reminisce about the past over what I have done,
my intolerant attitude, my ignorance,my insensitivity, my ego, my pride,my past failures and the incompassionate side that made me lose faith over love or is it just myself. *shrugs*

It has been a year ever since I withdrawn myself from this crappy game called love and now those deep burried feelings seem to be haunting me once again(Flirting doesn't count). Trust me, those sort of feeling is never good, your mind wonders as in you're on crackz and what is worst is that you cannot seem to concentrate on what you're doing. Everything have been done to refrain myself from getting drift away over foolish love as it was in the past. Sleeping, cigarettes, alcohol, television, basketball, books, and friends. None seems to work...

I am clumsily dancing away this fear and whats worse is that I am stumbling closer to you that I could not let go. I guess Rick Price's lyrics distinctively describe how I feel.. Enough said.

Flipping and kicking pillows to the floor,
rolling from side to side,
placing comforter over my head,
Can't sleep or can't forget??

Results are out with me getting another chance to resit all three subjects which starts at Nov 7 up to Nov 22. 15 days and 11 papers to sit. Cool eh~.. 16 days to A2 Trial and 80+ days to A2 and AS... Don't try it out, it's creepy and crappy.. I can feel the detachment in my brain along with those busy body auntie who suddenly seem so 'concern' about you when the result is out... *Pffff* Burst me..

Anyway,I Just Hope the 'Miracle' Plan works... =)
Perhaps this might be a start of something new or a turning path for me??? who knows... *shrugs*
As I always say, It's the journey that matters NOT the destination... SO lets enjoy for the moment.

"If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor." -Eleanor Roosevelt-

p/s: "hey up there!!! U sent me a weird guardian angel... Can I hv a change???"

Artist: Lifehouse
Title: Fool
Album: Blyss-diff's Lucky Day [1996]

Seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again,
when you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
first teach me to walk
and then I'll learn to dance for you like an
honest clumsy clown
tripping along the way

cause I am reaching for you
but my arms aren't long enough
and I am running to you
if I could go a little faster
and I am crying to you
but I can't hear my own voice
and I am waiting for you
and trying not to fall asleep now

cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

what are you thinking as you look down on me are you
frustrated with my inconsistency
or intrigued that I can find the will to get back up or
maybe all of this is simply amusing

cause I'm reaching for you
but my arms aren't long enough
and I'm running to you
if I could go a little faster
and I'm crying to you
but I can't hear my own voice
I am waiting for you
and trying not to fall asleep now

Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you
and I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

and I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you.

Masturbation.

"A man can learn a lot about being a better lover through masturbation -- even if he has a regular partner," says Peter Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a San Francisco clinical sexologist. "One of men's biggest concerns during sex is that they'll come too soon. Regular masturbation is the perfect way to learn to recognize the signs that you're getting close to orgasm." Here's how to get the most out of Solo Orgasm 101.

Slow Down.
"The fear of being found out motivates boys to learn to masturbate to orgasm as quickly as possible," says Patricia Love, Ed.D., a marriage and family therapist in Houston and author of Hot Monogamy. The trouble is, these quickies condition your sexual responses in such a way that you end up climaxing much faster than you'd like to with a partner. An occasional lightning orgasm is okay, but try to set aside some time when you can relax and masturbate for 20 minutes or so.

Lighten Up.
Another danger of high-speed wanking is that a jackhammer stroke creates sensations that can't be reproduced when you're not the only one in the room. "Some men get so used to the hard, fast strokes that they have trouble climaxing with a partner," says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Super Sexual Orgasm. To master a new stroke, try switching hands, which will make you very conscious of every move you make and defeat any "automatic" movements.

6 Steps To Beat Premature Ejacuation.

Master masturbation.
Masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, not your own. In other words, take your time: Work up to 15 minutes. Bring yourself close to the point of no return, but don't let yourself ejaculate until time is up.

Squeeze.
If you're overheating during masturbation or sex, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra--the tube running along the underside of the penis. The squeeze technique, developed by those icons of sex therapy, Masters and Johnson, pushes blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension and represses the ejaculatory response.

Pinpoint ejaculatory inevitability.
Masters and Johnson broke the process of sexual response into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. It's the plateau and orgasm phases we're most concerned with, as most men crash through the former, straight into the latter. The trick is to slow down and recognize that there's a spectrum of feelings throughout the process of sexual response and to recognize your own point of ejaculatory inevitability. Rate your sexual excitement on a scale of 1 to 10. Try keeping yourself at 7.

Sexercise.Do your Kegels.
A Kegel is an exercise that helps tighten the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor. Both men and women have them, and you can become familiar with the muscle group by cutting off the flow of urine and then starting and stopping it repeatedly. (Begin with a full bladder.) Once you have the exercise down, practice your Kegels anywhere: at your desk, behind the wheel. Tighten your PC muscles and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. Stronger PC muscles will help you exercise ejaculatory control when you approach the point of inevitability.

Press, don't thrust.
Tease her, taunt her: Press the head of your penis into her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. When you do have intercourse, focus on small, shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 to 3 inches of her vaginal canal. Press your penis against her G-spot. You'll last longer if you're not thrusting vigorously.

Show a little courtesy.
Ladies first, gentlemen--and I'm talking about more than just holding the door open. Keep your woman happy. Women have an innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms. When you help her to her first one, it relieves you of some of the pressure to please and the psychological anxiety that feeds into PE. Use your fingers; use your mouth.

Stupidity Prevail

Ever been in a situation where out of nowhere a stranger came over you and start telling about your family histories and how all of a sudden you are related to him. This was what happened today, I asked the dumbest questions out of all 'smart' questions existed.

*sitting in the library reading some updates on football*

Him: Hey, you are Keng Yeow's son rite?? (Keng Yeow is my dad)

Me: huh??*blur* how do u noe??

Him: We are related thou, I stay in Jalan Tembusu and my dad is a tamil and my mom is a chinese.

Me: Really,(slightly gettin the picture of who he is talking) ooowh~ I remembered, Ur brother and U used to cycle around the Melawis area riteee??

Him: Yeap!!!

Me: Your mom passed away recently rite??
*wat the fuck I just said???? those words came out nonchalantly, WTF!! is wrong wit me*


---------------------------------DEAD SILENCE---------------------------------

Him: *Nod his head*

Me: Anyway, I'm goin off, see ya later... *quickly walk off*

I seriously need to improve on my communication skills, instead of asking his name and what course he is currently doing, I went and talk about his mother.... DAMN! the influence of Nigel & Derren are gonna screw up my social life. I shall go talk to him in a proper manner and maybe apologize to him about how blur I was yesterday. Proud to say that I have another 2 cousins in Taylors apart from Leena who is doin Law... Wooohoooo!..Discovery of the day..

Charity Drive 2007 @ Taylors U.C.Malaysia

The whole event was great, especially with our class managed to sell all the cupcakes made by Leena in about 2 hours. 130 in total, each selling for RM2, and 2 for RM3..

To top it up,
everyone enjoyed, I enjoyed, loads of happy faces, loads of wet people and a lot of money goes to charity instead of my pocket as purchasing is mainly done in coupons..
Picture will illustrate the event better.

Have A Nice Day!!!~ =)

p/s: I feel guilty for skipping 2 classes, Sociology & Law though it's only an hour together.... Sam student is so hostile..

Artist: Dishwalla
Song: Collide
Album:Dishwalla

When I came here there was more.
Now I've come back to destroy,
And I've got nothing left,
And it's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love,
And it's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
We break.

When the cold comes crashing down,
And the fight lost what it's about.
I could tell that you'd left.
It's a shame what we've become,
When we hurt the ones we love.
It's a place I can not go,
Anymore.

When we collide we lose ourselves.
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake.
When we collide,
When we collide.

It's a hard mistake,
When we collide.

It's a mistake,
When we collide we lose ourselves,
When we collide we break in two,
And as we push and we shove and we hurt the ones we love,
It's a hard mistake,
When we collide,
When we collide.

It's a hard mistake,
When we collide,
We break,
We break....

"YOU'RE A BEAST,LOSER,COWARD,SISSY,DESPERADO,LOUSER,NEEDY FUCK!! etc.


Those are the stigma attached on me since that day...
but what I intend to do was to cherish you, I never wanted to take advantage of you like how you thought of. Somehow it hurts me when I see you shed your tears over your past, I wish to be the one who is able to give you comfort and if I ever knew that this is gonna be the ending to those happy times we spent, I would have kept a distance or a valley away from you..
I guess it's kinda late to apologize over that incident as you would have drawn a fine line between friend and 'close' friend....


Every night I pray for those memories to abandon me and a good night sleep without having a thought over it... Only solution would be to return back in time...

One of those silly dreams of a sequel in "Back To The Future"??? Yeah!! I wish.....

Friday

My arm hurts,
My knee hurts,
My feet hurts,


Skating in Sunway Pyramid today was never good.
Crap!! now my back hurts..

Event Of The Day:
Derren the 'playa' for the day. He saw,he went, & he conquered.. Bravo!! =)

Why Men Are Happier.

Your last name stays put
The garage is all yours
Wedding plans take care of themselves
Chocolate is just another snack
You can be president
You can never be pregnant
You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park
You can wear no T-shirt to a water park

Car mechanics tell you the truth
The world is your urinal
You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky
You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt
Same work, more pay
Wrinkles add character
People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them

The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected
New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet
One mood – all the time
Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat
You know stuff about tanks

A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase
You can open all your own jars
You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend

Your underwear is £15 (RM93) for three-pack
Three pairs of shoes are more than enough
You almost never have strap problems in public
You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes
Everything on your face stays its original colour
The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades
You only have to shave your face and neck

You can play with toys all your life
Your belly usually hides your big hips
One wallet and one pair of shoes one colour for all seasons
You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look
You can “do” your nails with a pocket knife
You have freedom of choice concerning growing a moustache
You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

Genting

Genting trip was great with nearly half the class peeps turn up along with Tracy and Adelle..
It'll be a blast if we could all enter into the casino and have a game of roulette or blackjack. I tried entering but FAILED!!!
Sort of lazy to explain the entire journey, so let the picture do the talking.


Anxious people just can't wait to cam-whore.


Flume ride turns into water war.



All wet,sexy, and COLD!!!


Group picture.


Adieus Genting..

(p/s: More pictures in www.leena15.blogspot.com,www.kristinelpy.blogspot.com)

Memorable Event Of The Day:
Nigel's phone learns how to fly...

It's time to get serious, real serious. 6 days ain't that long since you can actually count it with your fingers. I vow not to waste anymore time starting from today since I have basicaly done all the post-exam activities. Futsal,swimming,watched movie and drinking was never these good after Law paper. Simply love it. First start, gotta stay away from the pc and maybe I'll just spare some time on sweating myself out by jogging, push-ups and sit-ups as a reward/time out. Then gotta cut down on those cigarette, I have been puffing like a freakin chimney during this exam period. I'll try to distract myself from the cancer sticks by drinking loads of water, those diagrams shown on the effect of smoking aint working.. Yellow teeth,tarred lungs,flam on the throat.. so wat??? when the temptation comes, you can do nothing about it.

As for now, I gotta keep my hopes and determination high to get my last 'A' for Economics. It's gonna be a bumpy ride but I'm never gonna stop trying.
"Work today for tomorrow smile"...Cheerz.. =)

Sleeping beauty(far right) ROXX!!! She looks like someone I know *grinz*. Sleeping beauty come sleep in my room..wuahahhaa.... A sequel of Shrek-3, I think girls will like the show more than guys. I would give it a 5/10. Their humour ain't that funny compared to the 1st. Enough said. Off for good..

I never knew what was crush was until I was in form 1, when a feeling of anxious,bliss and desperation came upon this particular girl. She wasn't the prettiest nor is she the 'happening' one among other girls. However something seem to bond this fond heart towards every little things she does. Those feelings are like, curiousity over her daily routine though it wasn't much extraordinary but it simply makes you eager to know every little things in detail. Moreover streamyx has not existed yet and chatting on the net would be quite an expensive usage so most of the time we will only chat on weekends. Conversation was never dull, she would tell me everything from her childhood secrets till the size of her 'asset', it was simply a mix humour and emotional conversation.

After a certain time of sharing our personal experience and childhood, we decided to meet up at a shopping mall for a 'date', a proper me and her meeting unlike in tuition where we could only see each other's hair from the back. It's not really a date since her sister is gonna accompany us along with a friend of mine who is a year younger than me. Since it was my first date, I seem to be quite speechless and needed her sister to strike up conversation for me and guidance on certain things.

Everything started off well I guess, until that moment when our eyes were aligned with each other and everything turn hay-wire. I could hear my heart beat in an irregular rate and my whole body is signalling red alert that it's gonna experience a major shut down if I don't get my eyes off hers... Consequently it happened, the most embarrasing event of the day, my McDonald Sundae Cone(chocolate) spilled on her shirt.. To make matter worse, she was wearing a white shirt. Her face expression changed and I was constantly apologizing without being able to do anything as the stain was on that unique part of a woman's body. Lucky for me, I had her sister to help me to get her a new shirt to replace that stained shirt from Parkson which I paid for it. A huge relief along with that little pleasure and contentment when everything turns out to be joyous after all. We shared ice cream,watched movie,went shopping for undergarment...
(-_-") Happy day indeed.

Eventually, the process of getting into a relationship did not work out properly due to many arguments and some backstabbing from a classmate of mine who was also into her.. I was a newbie in the game of love and he was the swift 'killer' which we'd described for a person who has every technics to win a girl's heart. It was the most depressing lost but after that very moment I had many intriguing experience about love and flaws every guy make in order to get a girl's attention. That 'killer' guy who once an enemy turn out to be my good friend after all, we shared experiences and laughed ourselves out over the mistake we committed.

Love could be hurting at times but when you found love, those past hurting will eventually fade away. You need not find love, let love find you, that is why it's falling in love because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall.

Have a nice day =)

Recap of Exam(AS final) period....

Thinking Skills: DONE
-Paper 1 was a bitch especially the calculation section. Brain went numb halfway through the paper.



Sociology: DONE
-The paper was standard. Maybe the reason is me. I did not study consistently as were told by Ms.Ng. The exam place was mainly occupied by the January intake students who did a retake.
Overall student in the hall, 64. My classmates : 24 if not mistaken. You can actually sense the difficulty lies in Sociology. So, don't come looking at me with that insulting smirk if I ever flung it. Socio science is not an easy subject.....



Law: Paper 1: COMPLETED, Paper 2: This Wednesday(30/5/2007)
-Paper 1 totally kill me, I managed to complete only 2 questions out of 3. Pretty sad, I think this is gonna be a retake unless I manage to score a full mark in paper 2, *fingers crossed*. Rubbish talk?? Yeah! I know..



Economics : (8/6/2007)
- I would better remind myself not to procrastinate. Proscrastination leads to Wei Hong's destruction. I vow to achieve an A for this subject.... OH yEAH~ =)


Cheerz to AS.!!!!!!!!

30 Things I Learn From Porn

1. Women wear high heels to bed.
2. Men are never impotent.
3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.
4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.
5. Women smile appreciatively when men splat them in the face with sperm.
6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.
7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.
8. Women always orgasm when men do.
9. A blowjob will always get a woman out of a speeding ticket.
10. All women are noisy cummers.
11. People in the 70's couldn't cum unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.
12. Those tits are real.
13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.
14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.
15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other. (and the girl isn't disgusted!)
16. Double penetration makes women smile.
17. Asian men don't exist (ok 1 guy does).
18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.
19. There's a plot.
20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite her by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.
21. Nurses suck patients cocks.
22. Men always pull out.
23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.
24. Women never have headaches... or periods.
25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".
26. Assholes are clean.
27. A man ejaculating on a womans butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.
28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there and never frown at the size.
29. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
30. Dorky guys never have to beg.

Knocking On Heaven's Door

A sense of uneasiness was there whenever it's the Enlightment Day for Buddha,Last year my dad got involved in an accident where a lorry crash the entire front part of his car but he survived without any injury. Then this year was the accident of my fella mate, Jagdeep.. Though he survived, but eventually he lost 3 of his friends, one of them was his girl-friend, Reshween Sonya Kaur. A lass with a posture of a model and she was the eye catching ones if compared with other chickz. With her striking height that only Jagdeep would not fear embarrassment standing next to her.

Sometimes I'm not able to figure out what God has in mind for everyone of us, why the 3 girls??? and why not those people who drive like a fucktard without bothering other road users. Those like, the fucka who tail-gate you when you're not up to their speed, those who weave in and out all around the highway.. In short, people like me....

I was a fuckin arrogant driver, I would try to hit the 180km/h mark whenever I'm driving alone. I will try to reach my destination in the shortest period of time but I guess God was constantly giving me a chance to repent over my inconsiderate behaviour. Chance after chance was given till HE was terribly piss and decided to vent his anger on Jagdeep, my fella mate who will hang out with me on a Saturday night till dawn. As for now, his condition has stabilized but God decided to leave a great 'scar' on him emotionally and physically; his beloved girl and his lungs. Goodbye to cigarettes,basketball,futsal,and anything that will trigger his lungs and goodbye Reshween Sonya Kaur. A friend whom I just knew last Christmas, A filial daughter, an intelligent student and a beautiful dancer. May you rest in peace. Till we meet meet again in heaven's gate. I'll bring the booze and we shall drink like there is no tomorrow.

I came to this place without prior knowledge and confusion, the idea of those big kids constantly attempting to enter the ball into the ring sound foolish to me at first. At that moment, a kid who is my age came to me, handed me the ball and asked me to attempt a shot. Gradually after a few shots, I was sort of into it. It was like a rush of adrenaline all over me.

That was the time I knew that 'she' was the one. 'She' was the missing part in my life, 'she' was my sunshine, 'she' was my inspiration. As time goes by, that place was my second home. I would drop by everyday without fail though I knew that we were the losing side to those peeps who were 4-5 years our senior.




It was a place where I learned all my profanities and sarcasm from those peepz.

It was a place where I fought with quite a number of people.



It was a place where chinese tea taste the best after a 2 hours game under the sun.

It was a place where I felt the joy of winning.

It was a place where I learned patience and respect for the game and people around me.

It was a place where I realised how lucky am I to be in the Tan family.



A place where enemy turns friends.

A place where nicknames were used to call a person, I was gorilla.. *lol*

A place where people would describe me as fit. *look into shirt, and sigh~*



A place I would laugh myself out loudly without bothering about courtesy.

A place where nobody cares about how you look, as long you play the game well, you have their respect.


Here was where I grew up where I acquire my true self.....