Your voice was the soundtrack of my summer
Do you know you're unlike any other?
You'll always be my thunder, and I said
Your eyes are the brightest of all the colors
I dont wanna ever love another
You'll always be my thunder
So bring on the rain
And bring on the thunder.....

=) *grins*

"I survived the crash.
Survived the burn.
Survived the worst.
Survived the blues.
and it almost killed me,
but I survived the truth.
And when you wrote me off like I was doomed.
I survived you."

aww~ cute betul. Smile that smile and there go all my defences.

"What's wrong with death? What are we so mortally afraid of? Why can't we treat death with a certain amount of humanity and dignity, and decency, and God forbid, maybe even humor. Death is not the enemy gentlemen. If we're going to fight a disease, let's fight one of the most terrible diseases of all, indifference. "

Drafting your client's document regarding who he is gonna to sue or defending him on who is suing him, attend court cases to fight for client's right, walk the same line along with the 'professionals' who talks nothing about his/her case in court, discussing the point of law, attending some meeting where people talk with a weird accent, reading the law weekly review..

Is it worth fighting so hard for this robe??

the course-mate, the future lawyers, the gonna be professionals

Decision made, I'm gonna held my head high up and walk through this aisle... Whatever will be, will be. Que sera sera.. My vision won't go wrong. When you have no hope, just invent. *cheerz*

Artist: Andra And The Backbone
Title: Sempurna

Kau begitu sempurna
Dimataku kau begitu indah
Kau membuat diriku akan selalu memujimu

Disetiap langkahku
Kukan slalu memikirkan dirimu
Tak bisa kubayangkan hidupku tanpa cintamu

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

[Reff:]Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku

Janganlah kau tinggalkan diriku
Takkan mampu menghadapi semua
Hanya bersamamu ku akan bisa

[Reff:]Kau adalah darahku
Kau adalah jantungku
Kau adalah hidupku
Lengkapi diriku
Oh sayangku, kau begitu
Sempurna... Sempurna...

Kau genggam tanganku
Saat diriku lemah dan terjatuh
Kau bisikkan kata dan hapus semua sesalku


It's nice to be able to relate your feeling through a song.. Have a nice weekend... =) The cases for assignment is calling me seductively and desperately to have them read by this weekend. Assignment is creeping the hell out of me... SHIT!! positive mind... *take deep breath*

"Love is always patient and kind. It is never jealous.
Love is never boastful or conceited. It is never rude or selfish.
It does not take pleasure in other peoples sins, but delights in the truth.
It is always ready to excuse, to trust, to hope, and to endeavour whatever comes."
-A Walk to Remember-


It kills me that I hurt you this way, maybe not to the extend of death but it hurts me bad to see you in this sort of condition. There go all my defence when I see tears trickles down your face. Why did you have to be so wonderful? You have been impactful, not simply a companion but my inspiration to do wonders. =)

I would be glad if you would stay under this wing as long as you could and we will get to greater heights.....together. You as the wind beneath my wings and I'll lift you closer to heaven with the strength I possessed. I felt so fond by your present though you're a distant away. I miss that warmth..

-Your Guardian Angel-

Ever since I started my course in Help, I have develop this weird habit of waking up in the morning. My day kicks off with Gandhi's (my roomie) phone playing some weird songs as his alarm clock alert which he himself couldn't understand the lyrics of it. Instead of him waking up to that phone alert, it was me who has to wake up and turn off his phone alarm then wake him up personally with a little slapping on his face or sometimes I just throw something on him. eg. pillows, old newspaper, as long it's something hard...

He will eventually occupies the toilet till 7.30am, and he tells me "bro/macha/dei, we are late" along with that worried/anxious expression. * shows middle finger* Did I mention that he raps to his thug songs in the toilet using his phone. That makes it 2 alarm clocks plus mine, 3 alarm clocks. How to be late for class? *shrugs* blame it on the bus, blame it on the residence lift, blame it on the toilet, blame it on the sleepy morning, easy still blame it on Gandhi... =)

Poser As She Is...

Date: 15/8/08
Location: Sinma in Jusco, Seremban 2
Time: After a long day of work before the shop was closed.

Started off with the camera 'shy' gesture.

Den the camera 'shy' barrier is destroyed. Vanity prevails. yeah~

The posing expression only came after a few fail attempts of picture shots.

There she was, the tiger is out of the cave. *roar*

That's what I'm looking for, natural, casuality, flawless and perfection. Superb~

And all she needs is a broom, my phone camera and a bit of my skill. Very affordable photo shooting process kan. Quick, trouble-less and most importantly the pictures turns out to be fine.

Note: This is not Edison Chen's post nor is she Cecillia Chung.. Copyright by Ethan W.H Tan.

He invited his friends to supper and cooked a succulent piece of meat for them. Suddenly he realized there was no salt.

"So he called to his son: 'Go to the village and buy some salt, but pay a fair price for it: neither too much nor too little.'

"His son was suprised: 'I can understand why I shouldn't pay too much for it, Father, but if I can bargain them down, why not pay a bit less?'

" ' That would be the sensible thing to do in a big city, but in a small village like ours it could spell the beginning of the end.'

"The boy left without asking any further questions. However, his guests who had overheard their conversation wanted to know why they should not buy the salt more cheaply if they could. He replied:

" 'The only reason anyone would sell salt more cheaply than usual would be because he was desperate for money. And anyone who took advantage of that situation would be showing a lack of respect for the sweat and struggle of the man who labored to produce it.'

" 'But such a small thing couldn't possibly destroy a village.'

" 'In the beginning, there was only a small amount of injustice abroad in the world, but everyone who came afterwards added their portion, always thinking it was very small and unimportant, and look where we have ended up today.' "

~The Devil And Miss Prym by Paulo Coelho.~

Have you ever had a life-changing experience?

YES.....

that date,
that special day,
that specific time,
in that particular place,
on that special moment.....

I found HER, my lil' brat, devil, sweetie, sleeping baby, sweetheart, princess, the wind beneath my wings, terpesong-ish cum creative thinking 'angel'.

example:
"Knights in shiny armour win their damsels because they are willing to fight dragons which is a stand-in for their fears. They have to conquer their own uncertainties before they win their reward."

My lil' genius here will have a different thought to this line... A lot of washing to do I would say and clorox is very much in need. Thank U.

Yesterday she was loudly complaining to me that it was a misfortune, curse, jinx to be in that place at that time but secretly she is on cloud nine having to meet me. =P

p/s: Never did I regretted for causing so much troubles and havoc. In sociological perspective, it's a construction/development of a new society; it's like a growth of rational thinking- a scientific way of understanding - taking over from previous, supernatural, sacred ways of looking at the world. Changing the ideology. A communist country system turning to a democratic system. China then n now. To sum it up, it's to create a discipline free from value judgments. It's time for a change.

I look stoned. damn....

HAVE A NICE DAY!!!!!! cheerz~!

Installing Love

Tech Support: Yes ma'am.... How can i help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can. Are you ready to proceed?Well, I'm not very technical but i think I'm ready. What do I do first? The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart ma'am?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Lets see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self Esteem,Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt frm your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it'll no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its' own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma'am

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment are completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: OOps! I have an error message. It says, "Error - program not running on external components." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry, ma'am. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Can you pull down Self-Acceptance, then click on the following files: Forgive Self; Realise your Worth; Acknowledge Your Limitation.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming, Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey, My Heart is filling up with new files! Smile is playing on my monitor, and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others, it takes a while, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: I promise to do just that. By the way, what's your name?

Tech Support: Just call me Divine Cardiologist, also known as the Great physician, or simply "AM". Most people feel all they need is an annual check-upto stay heart-healthy. But the manufacturer (ME) suggests a daily maintenance schedule for maximum Love efficiency.


Notes: Copyright of some IT geek who sent me damn long ago...

5.15am

Sometime a reasonable amount consumption of alcohol is a bliss as it makes me reminisced about my past hurt, ridiculous conflicts I gone through, the happy times I had throughout my life up to present time but I'd like to stressed that that the most significant thing ever happen to me was meeting you.

Thinking about how we met up is totally awkward but we sort of weathered da 'storm' to a status of what we are now. If you were to ask me if I regretted anything in life and would I want to take a time machine to return to the past in order to rectify any dumb or wrongdoings I had made.

I would proudly and without hesitation decline that statement as I know in da quest of making things too perfect, there would be a risk involved and I'd not have known this lovely lass by the name of Kei Ching Chow @ Kutu Seremban =') Therefore it's simply not a risk worth taking.....

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree.

Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good....but easy.

So the apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who's brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now men......Men are like fine wine. They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something.

Source: Averdim.blogdrive.com.

She never fails to make me laugh whenever we are in a conversation even if it's just messages. Her wittiness, her sarcasm, her irritating comment about my phone. All those simply seems to be her attraction. Whatever it is, I'm hoping for that moment to be never-ending/changing. *hands clamped together*. Halleluyah (quoted by Derren)

She had me at hello..... *grinz*

This is quite a nice story, it touched me a little.. =')

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room's only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back. The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation.

Every afternoon, when the man in the bed by the window could situp, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window. The man in the other bed began to live for those one hour period where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside.

The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every colour and a fine view of the city skyline could be seen in the distance.

As the man by the window described all this in exquisite details, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine this pictures que scene. One warm afternoon, the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man could not hear the band, he could see it in his mind as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days, weeks and months passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if hecould be moved next to the window. The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the real world outside. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed. It faced a blank wall. The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, "Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you."


Epilogue:
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations.
Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all the things you have that money can't buy.


Have A Nice Day =)

Read this post by Averdim before the start of a new year, 2008. I like how he creates analogy between the fist and the heart. His linguistic skill is simply terrific. Enjoy...

They say the size of your heart is similar to the size of your fist. I would like to think that there's more to it. A clenched fist in a typical Malaysian day will get all hot and sweaty and uncomfortable in 5 minutes. Spread it out into a palm, let the breeze take the discomforts away.

Like the fist, the heart shouldn't be shut away for too long. It will get sweaty and breathe in on itself; it'll get tensed, tired. Open up, let the cool breeze of sincere affections free you of your restrictions to express.

If you don't open your palms and show your hand, how hence will the breeze caress over it? Besides, you are not necessarily showing everything; there are still grooves on your palm that would still keep the important parts warm; reminding us of our roots and motivations.

Anyway, have a wonderful new year and may 2008 be the year where all your dreams and hopes are fulfilled. Forget those past grudges and march on to a new year with wonderful resolution and positively believing in yourself that 2008 would be the year which is gonna be filled with joy cum excitement. Hereby, I would like to wish all my invisible readers:

MERRY CHRISTMAS & HAPPY NEW YEAR !!!

How I wish I could return in time and cherish those moments with you. The moments when we'll make fun of each other, scare each other in library and "study" together though I wasn't 100% concentrating on it.... You would exchange your study tips for my words of wisdom and every night you would call to have a night chat when you completed studying. How I wish those moments were eternal, never ending, and ever lasting.

Upon being drifted apart from you for a period of time, I realised that I missed your voice. The voice that is filled with excitement and curiosity when you want to express yourself. I had never presume you're a dull/weird/strange/abnormal person though many would think that you are one of those.

You're simply memorable, I blame myself for he who knew you first...... If fantasy ever come alive, I would want a key to return in time even if it would cause me to perish in present time.... I finally realised the importance of time, every year, week, day, hour, minutes and second are worth more than every treasure mankind could discover on earth in their life time.

I'll conclude that until one morning, I'll wake up thinking about something else, and then I'll know the worst is over. My heart might be bruised, but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more. It happened before, it will happen again, I'll find love again.

-end-

A New Perspective

This mail was sent over by Derren, it is pretty amusing, take 5 minutes of your time and read on......

One day, the father of a very wealthy family took his son on a trip to the country with the express purpose of showing him how poor people live. They spent a couple of days and nights on the farm of what would be considered a very poor family. On their return from their trip, the father asked his son, 'How was the trip?' 'It was great, Dad.'

'Did you see how poor people live?' the father asked. 'Oh yeah,' said the son. 'So, tell me, what did you learn from the trip?' asked the father. The son answered: 'I saw that we have one dog and they had four. We have a pool that reaches to the middle of our garden and they have a creek that has no end. We have imported lanterns in our garden and they have the stars at night. Our patio reaches to the front yard and they have the whole horizon. We have a small piece of land to live on and they have fields that go beyond our sight. We have servants who serve us, but they serve others. We buy our food, but they grow theirs. We have walls around our property to protect us, they have friends to protect them.'

The boy's father was speechless. Then his son added, 'Thanks Dad for showing me how poor we are.' Isn't perspective a wonderful thing? Makes you wonder what would happen if we be grateful to everything we have, instead of worrying about what we don't have. Appreciate every single thing you have, your family and friends because today is the only guarantee you have.

PLANS LINE UP

1)Hao Long's Birthday, might be booking a VIP room in Ruums or Maison (6 December)

2)Youth Camp at Cameron Highlands - (8-12 December)

3)Kedah (Pei Ling's place) then to Langkawi,Sitiawan - (14 -???? December)

4)Christmas eve dinner with Tan family -(24 December)

6)Christmas dinner with her.. but I think it would be cancelled since I have no car for now. DAMN !(25th December)

7)New Year eve in KL or Genting. Depending on the gang. (31st December)

It's already the 29 and I have not started working. How am I suppose to find that much of money to enjoy this holiday. SHIT!!!
So much to be done, so little to spend.

Today is just one damn hectic day but satisfaction acquired, started off when the car couldn't start which needed me to cancel the plan of going to the dentist, then waited for the mechanic to fix the car in a petrol station. Then I made my way to Summit,USJ so that I can meet up with this fella by the name of Alvin to discuss about a job he is offering: credit card promoter. As a result,we accepted the job and planning to have it started by January. For now, I think I will just go try out the job offered by my uncle as his assistant. He is a remisier a.k.a an agent of a stockbroking company and receives commission for each transaction handled. This would be a good chance for me to learn about the stock markets and exchange. A damn good experience I guess. I shall accept the job, what do I have to lose by the way, I don't think my uncle would exploit me.. =D

All to all, I simply needed $$$$$$$$$$$$$ .. Somebody spare me!!!!!!!!!!

That dreaded period of time finally ended. Some was in despair and some was jumping for joy with many plans ahead this holiday season before they proceed to their University.

As for us, (musketeers). Maison was the place. Drink, Dance, Chill, and ended the session with a meal of Bah Kut Teh in Klang at 6 in the morning. Unfortunately every happy moment will have a halt to it. This shit happened when I was trying to make an illegal U-turn to the shop just as other drivers do. However this fella still tried to cut me although my signal was flashing for like 5 seconds. As a result, my side door got destroyed by him and 'bargaining' with him is simply a waste of time. Damn.. Why must it happen on the first day of my holiday??? argh!!!

RM300 for the fine, + 1k for the door(insurance will cover this but not entirely)
One harsh and expensive lesson for an after exam outing. Despite all my rage, I'm grateful that there was no serious injuries. If I was driving the VIOS, I guess I wouldn't be here typing this anymore. =D Cheerz~ to the holiday for now...

I'm searching for a job while waiting for the results. Any recommendation?? anybody?? I have no hesitation whether it's illegal, semi-illegal or legal. Count me in. I NEED $$$$$$$..

Nigel's Birthday

Location: Nigel Dad's Apartment in Genting.
Date: 4 days before my A2 papers.. (>.<) We had a barbecue + cigar session, with loads of food and booze but only 2 girlz. Eventually,it was more like a boys night out. Not gonna elaborate further. Overall we had fun and I'm getting worried of my upcoming papers, Law, Socio, & Economics. Damn!!! Too late to regret. Picture tells a thousand words... Down ahead.

~Stuck In The Momment~

~"We'll follow U"~

~The rascality runs in the blood~ *notice the 2 kidz*

~Perpetuation of time is what I needed the most~

Lesson Of The Day

Proscrastination is like a dynamite, never fool with it until you have complete proficiency in handling it..
It hit me kinda bad. However keeping my fingers cross as 2 more torturing weeks are yet to come.

Lesson Of The Day:
Time management is blardy important in examinations, even a 7 minutes wastage could be a massive blow.. Sociology paper 1 needed us to complete 2 essay questions in 1 and a half hour, me being a smarty pant wasted 20 minutes for outline itself. Hence screwing up the 2nd question. That would be a 25 marks burn, and in order to keep the Reading University enrolment open, I will need at least 40/50 marks in my paper 2 to maintain the minimum requirement for entry...pwfft... Damn!. .

4 more days to the next paper.. I need to keep fighting... I'm constantly reminding myself that nothing is impossible and sky is the limit. So this would be it, a final and the greatest battle for academic grades in my life. Although I might have another choice which is HELP University but sad to say, I'm not good in adopting a new environment, I don't want a new atmosphere without them, my friends, my buddies, my pal, my classmates, PL-5.

THEM.....................

Artist : Lifehouse
Album : Who We Are
Song: First Time

We're both looking for something
We've been afraid to find
It's easier to be broken

It's easier to hide
Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time
The world that I see inside you
Waiting to come to life
Waking me up to dreaming
Reality in your eyes

Looking at you, holding my breath
For once in my life I'm scared to death
I'm taking a chance letting you inside

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time

We're crashingInto the unknown
We're lost in this
But it feels like home

I'm feeling alive all over again
As deep as a scar under my skin
Like being in love, she said, for the first time
Maybe I'm wrong, I'm feeling right

Whenever I'm alone with you tonight
Like being in love with you for the first time

Like being in love she said for the first time
Like being in love with you the first time

The Balance Of Love.

A woman dies after living a long, dignified life. Whe she meets God, she asks him something that has long bothered her. "If Man is created in God's image, and if all men are created equal, why do people treat each other so badly?"

God replies that each person who enters our life has a unique lesson to teach us. And it is only through these lessons that we learn about life, people, relationships and God.

This confuses the woman, so God begins to explain:
When someone lies to you, it teaches you that things are not always as they seem. The truth is often far beneath the surface. Look beyond the masks people wear if you want to know their heart. And remove you own masks to let people know yours.

When someone steals from you, it teaches you that nothing is forever. Always appreciate what you love, for you never know when you might lose it. And never, ever take your friends and family for granted because today is the only guarantee you have.

When someone inflicts an injury upon you, it teaches you that the human state is fragile. Protect and take care of your body as best you can because it's the only thing you are sure to have forever.

When someone mocks you, it teaches you that no two people are alike. When you encounter people who are different from you, don't judge them by how they look or act. Instead base your opinion on the contents of their heart.

When someone breaks your heart it teaches you that loving someone does not always mean that the person will love you back. But don't turn your back on love because when you find the right person, the joy that one person brings will make up for all the past hurts put together.

When someone holds a grudge against you, it teaches you that everyone makes mistakes. When you are wronged, the most virtuous thing you can do is to forgive the offender without pretence. Forgiving those who have hurt us most is the most difficult, the most courageous, and the noblest thing man can do.

When a loved one is unfaithful to you, it teaches you that resisting temptation is man's greatest challenge. Be vigilant in your resistance against all temptation. By doing so, you will be rewarded with an enduring sense of satisfaction far greater than the temporary pleasure by which you were tempted.

When someone cheats you, it teaches you that greed is the root of all evil.
Aspire to make your dreams come true, no matter how lofty they may be. Do not feel guilty about your success, but never let an obsession with achieving your goals lead you to engage in malevolent activities.

When someone ridicules you, it teaches you that nobody is perfect. Accept people for their merits and be tolerant of their flaws. Do not ever reject someone for imperfections over which they have no control.

Upon hearing the Maker's wisdom, the old woman becomes concerned that there were no lessons to be learned from man's good deeds. God tells her that man's capacity to love is the greatest gift he has. At the root of all kindness is love, and each act of love also teaches us a lesson.

As the woman's curiosity deepens, God once again explains:
When someone loves us, it teaches us that love, kindness, charity, honesty, humility, forgiveness and acceptance can counteract all the evil in the world. For every good deed, there is one less evil deed. Man alone has the power to control the balance between good and evil, but because the lessons of love are not not taught often enough, the power is too often abused.

When you enter someone's life, whether by choice or chance, what will your lesson be. Will you teach love or harsh reality? Each one of us has the power over the balance of love. Use that power wisely.

My Birthday (in advance) & Last Day Of Class.

That is Derren.

Our last day

Muffins Made By Leena =)

Candles.

Sick And Happy Yellow Boy

The pictures tells it all again. I was feeling kinda sickly on my birthday but eventually they made my day. I was not suppose to come but the constant buzzing of my phone wakes me up in a way and being at home instead of college is simply not me. I'm simply energetic I think. Moreover staying at home would be a total waste of time since I wouldn't have the mood to study. A whole load of muffins and warm wishes from your fellow classmates along with presents OR medicine, porridge,and stuck in bed?? The former is obviously a better choice. ;)

13th Oct 2007

Many wishes flooded my phone when the clock strikes 12. I was dragged out by Ashley and the gang over to Bah Kut Teh along with beers though I was sleeping already at that time due to the effect of medicine. They accompany me up to 4am in the morning with loads of cheers and laughter and Wei Siang being the fortune teller palm-read everyone..

Lastly, I was flabbergasted when she came all the way to Klang from Damansara just to pass me my present and a cake. Truly appreciate what she had done, I guess that give me absolutely no reason to forget her birthday next year.. Who is she????

MY Angel, a blessing sent from above... *winkz*

Why We Love Beer

There's a good Van Morrison song (Hey, are there any bad ones? A couple, yeah) called "Got to Go Back" in which the Celtic belter sings:

Keep me away from porter or whiskey
Don't play anything sentimental, it'll make me cry

Van the Man is singing about his N-methyl-D-aspartic acid receptors, though we suspect he doesn't know it. NMDA receptors are part of the brain's system of neurons and synapses, and they relate to memory.

In other words, beer helps memory.
Scientist performed experiment with rats and found that they remembered things better after a couple of beers (the rats, not the scientist)
http://www.sciam.com/article.cfm?chanID=sa007&articleID=439863EB-E7F2-99DF-3FE0A7665EBFA7A3&pageNumber=1&catID=1

Previous research had found a correlation between alcohol consumption and the performance of the receptors. So, as only a scientist could put it, "We thought it was worth pursuing, since ethanol drinking is such a common pattern of human behavior."

Alcohol's effect on those receptors may explain why you think of her (you know who) after a couple of pints. Or why Red Sox fans, after a few, relive dark moments involving the Yankees.

One of the scientists says that drinking to drown your sorrows "could actually paradoxically promote traumatic memories and lead to further drinking, contributing to the development of alcoholism."

There's your early-warning system. When you start reminiscing, you've had enough.

Little Talk: I miss that smile. A smile of unpretentious soul. And it's only a week of not seeing her.. Overall I can sense that the chemistry is running low in a rapid speed. She seems to be slipping away; a gap could actually be seen. Distance? Time? Not showing enough? No idea at all. Heaven knows. =)

It was a fulfilling day yesterday and also a memorable one. With Leena's belated birthday party and David leaving for Sheffield,UK to further his studies, the night was a total blast overall. From Leena's place to the airport and then to Sunway for a session of sheesha but all the shops were closed and headed back to Asia Cafe for a chill out session with How Keat, another belated birthday boy whom I'm suppose to accompany him to Laundry Bar yesterday.

This would sum up for the holiday this time and hell is awaiting... I'm worshipping Satan for a blessing. My angels simply do not gave me the strength and courage I needed to get through this stage.. I gave up on you. It was never You, It was Me.. I'm too dependable on you and did not take the initiative to stand up by myself and walk through that dark phase, instead you provided me with a light and lifted me up with your fairy dust. I took those fairy dust for granted to fulfill my dark desires. I'm sorry..........

I could not ask for more than this time together,
I could not ask for more time to be with you,
Every prayer has been answered ,
Every dream has come true,
And right here in this moment I smile when I get reminded of your smile.
Yes, it is U.
My Shooting Star.............

Why We Stare

We know why we stare at beautiful women, right?

Because they're beautiful, that's why. And it makes us feel good, and gives us ideas, and gives rise to fantasies that lift us above our humdrum lives.

And there's probably some caveman mentality going on there, too—we're always looking to procreate and spread our, well, seed among the most promising candidates we see.

It takes about half a second for a heterosexual man or woman to lock onto a hot member of the opposite sex.

It's called "attentional adhesion." As in, "Sorry, honey, I'm just suffering from attentional adhesion, but I'm almost over it. That Claritin helped."

A professor at Florida State took a long look at this phenomenon and found some startling facts.
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/09/070917112220.htm

Among them: Once we're in a committed relationship, we're just as likely to stare at attractive men as at attractive women. Why? We view them as rivals, says Jon Maner, Ph.D.

"Men tend to be most concerned with other men being more dominant, funny, or charismatic than they are. When they're feeling jealous, men are attentive to attractive men because they think their girlfriend or wife may be too," he says.

Maner says our radar has evolved over the eons so that we can quickly size up potential mates and potential rivals.

One modern-day drawback: Advertising, magazines and movies and TV know how much we like to look at beautiful women. So our standards have become artificially high.

"It can make us feel bad and can hurt our commitment to our partner," he says. "One strategy is to pay attention to normal-looking people because that may give us a more realistic standard of beauty and make us feel better about ourselves and our relationships."

-study was published in the journal of Personality And Social Psychology-

LITTLE TALK: I'm drench in pain again.. Mysteriously when she is not around I feel uneasy someway. Felt as if something is missing or incomplete for the day.

A2 trial is done and 2 weeks of holidays for all CAL students and after that would be hell when the classes start again.

A recap of the after-trial event when I should be worried than celebrating. We went over to Maison,KL for a night out to destress ourselves after all those sleepless nights reading up those blood coughing subjects that will give you an entire day of headache upon thinking about it.

Everything turn out quite well except for the part waiting for Nigel and our liquor got stolen when we left the table unattended for a few minutes. And also I ter-knock my car on the bumper. Thank God no cracks on it otherwise deep shit. Mom lectured me a lil about going to KL and not informing Dad that I'm going to be back late which left him waiting till 3am. Eventually I got the 'screwing' in the phone when he was drunk...

Here are some pictures of the night, most of it are blur except for these :

~Pei Ling & =)~

~Nigel & Pei Ling~

~Pei Ling & Derren~

~Nigel, S.Ling, P.Ling & Me (Derren was the cameraman)~

Extra class for Law tomorrow... CRAP!!!

Constantly reminding myself that feathers from different birds will not flock together...

Gotta get myself back to groove...

-end-

He sat on a stone, and allowed himself to become hypnotized by the horizon. He tried to deal with the concept of love as distinct from possession, and couldn't separate them. But she was a woman of the desert, and if anything could help him to understand, it was the desert.

And he sat there thinking, he sensed movement above him. Looking up, he saw a pair of hawks flying high in the sky. He watched the hawks as they drifted on the wind. Although their flight appeared to have no pattern, it made a certain kind of sense to the boy. It was just that he couldn't grasp what it meant. He followed the movement of the birds, trying to read something into it. Maybe these desert birds could explain to him the meaning of love without ownership.

He felt sleepy. In his heart, he wanted to remain awake, but he also wanted to sleep. "I'm learning the Language of the World, and everything in the world is beginning to make sense to me.... even the flight of the hawks," he said to himself. And, in that mood, he was grateful to be in love. When you are in love, things make even more sense, he thought..........

-The Alchemist-

Never Want To Let Go

I'm very grateful and thankful that YOU actually send me a blessing to guide me through this path of my life when everything is fragmented, and on the same time I took those blessings for granted and eventually now I'm dependent on it and never want to let it go for a better course.

But I'm constantly trying to let it go because I knew I don't deserve a beautiful blessing like this but eventually I just can't resist temptation. My inner self have been constantly telling me that she belongs to someone better. Someone that could give her a better living, a better life, a better love.

I have lost the courage to love,
I lose faith in myself.
I fear of losing her in the process.
I lost my confidence due to those past failures. I have been on the losing side and I already got used to it and now those feelings which has already been burried for a year wants resurrection which I'm not able to provide....

I'm not the person I used to be last time, how am I suppose to give the best of me and look after you..

I wish I have never travelled on this journey if I knew the destination would end up in this way. I wish for a perpetuation of time ; a journey that has no ending to it. And again nothing is eternal. Every happy thing will need to come to an end. 1 month counting and everything will all just be a dream again..

http://rantingsbymm.blogspot.com/search?updated-max=2007-08-23T10%3A13%3A00%2B08%3A00&max-results=7

Check out this post by Marina Mahathir on social business(microcredit) Prof Dr Mohammad Yunus, the founder of Grameen Bank @ 2006 Nobel Peace Price laureate.

Happy 50th Anniversary Malaysia!!! MERDEKA!
My merdeka eve wasn't a blast unlike others who spent theirs in Cyberjaya, Dataran merdeka, etc. spectating the fireworks events. So merdeka celebration in Ashley's house again like last year. Gulping beer and 'updating' myself on what is happening.

Discovery of the Day : Everyone is learning how to shuffle and Zhi Yen has talent in doing it, learning very quickly and all eyes were on him.. Cheerz*

Artist: Chris Daughtry
Title: Over You
Album: Daughtry

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
Well I'm putting my heart back together,
'Cause I got over you.
Well I got over you.
I got over you.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through

Did I really managed to get over 'everything'??
Still doubtful....

My Past Failed Me

"Where were you when I needed the most??"
The moment when I am in excruciating pain and needed someone to stand by my side to guide me through this bumpy path of life.

Every night I would reminisce about the past over what I have done,
my intolerant attitude, my ignorance,my insensitivity, my ego, my pride,my past failures and the incompassionate side that made me lose faith over love or is it just myself. *shrugs*

It has been a year ever since I withdrawn myself from this crappy game called love and now those deep burried feelings seem to be haunting me once again(Flirting doesn't count). Trust me, those sort of feeling is never good, your mind wonders as in you're on crackz and what is worst is that you cannot seem to concentrate on what you're doing. Everything have been done to refrain myself from getting drift away over foolish love as it was in the past. Sleeping, cigarettes, alcohol, television, basketball, books, and friends. None seems to work...

I am clumsily dancing away this fear and whats worse is that I am stumbling closer to you that I could not let go. I guess Rick Price's lyrics distinctively describe how I feel.. Enough said.

Flipping and kicking pillows to the floor,
rolling from side to side,
placing comforter over my head,
Can't sleep or can't forget??

Results are out with me getting another chance to resit all three subjects which starts at Nov 7 up to Nov 22. 15 days and 11 papers to sit. Cool eh~.. 16 days to A2 Trial and 80+ days to A2 and AS... Don't try it out, it's creepy and crappy.. I can feel the detachment in my brain along with those busy body auntie who suddenly seem so 'concern' about you when the result is out... *Pffff* Burst me..

Anyway,I Just Hope the 'Miracle' Plan works... =)
Perhaps this might be a start of something new or a turning path for me??? who knows... *shrugs*
As I always say, It's the journey that matters NOT the destination... SO lets enjoy for the moment.

"If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavor." -Eleanor Roosevelt-

p/s: "hey up there!!! U sent me a weird guardian angel... Can I hv a change???"

Artist: Lifehouse
Title: Fool
Album: Blyss-diff's Lucky Day [1996]

Seems my own arrogance has knocked me off my feet again,
when you know I'm crawling to you as fast as I can
first teach me to walk
and then I'll learn to dance for you like an
honest clumsy clown
tripping along the way

cause I am reaching for you
but my arms aren't long enough
and I am running to you
if I could go a little faster
and I am crying to you
but I can't hear my own voice
and I am waiting for you
and trying not to fall asleep now

cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

what are you thinking as you look down on me are you
frustrated with my inconsistency
or intrigued that I can find the will to get back up or
maybe all of this is simply amusing

cause I'm reaching for you
but my arms aren't long enough
and I'm running to you
if I could go a little faster
and I'm crying to you
but I can't hear my own voice
I am waiting for you
and trying not to fall asleep now

Cause I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you
and I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you

and I'm clumsily dancing away this fear
I'm stumbling closer to you and I am
tumbling over my pride
I will be a fool for you.

Masturbation.

"A man can learn a lot about being a better lover through masturbation -- even if he has a regular partner," says Peter Sandor Gardos, Ph.D., a San Francisco clinical sexologist. "One of men's biggest concerns during sex is that they'll come too soon. Regular masturbation is the perfect way to learn to recognize the signs that you're getting close to orgasm." Here's how to get the most out of Solo Orgasm 101.

Slow Down.
"The fear of being found out motivates boys to learn to masturbate to orgasm as quickly as possible," says Patricia Love, Ed.D., a marriage and family therapist in Houston and author of Hot Monogamy. The trouble is, these quickies condition your sexual responses in such a way that you end up climaxing much faster than you'd like to with a partner. An occasional lightning orgasm is okay, but try to set aside some time when you can relax and masturbate for 20 minutes or so.

Lighten Up.
Another danger of high-speed wanking is that a jackhammer stroke creates sensations that can't be reproduced when you're not the only one in the room. "Some men get so used to the hard, fast strokes that they have trouble climaxing with a partner," says Barbara Keesling, Ph.D., a sex therapist and author of Super Sexual Orgasm. To master a new stroke, try switching hands, which will make you very conscious of every move you make and defeat any "automatic" movements.

6 Steps To Beat Premature Ejacuation.

Master masturbation.
Masturbate with a woman's orgasm in mind, not your own. In other words, take your time: Work up to 15 minutes. Bring yourself close to the point of no return, but don't let yourself ejaculate until time is up.

Squeeze.
If you're overheating during masturbation or sex, stop and squeeze right below the head of your penis. Apply firm pressure with your thumb and forefinger and focus the pressure on the urethra--the tube running along the underside of the penis. The squeeze technique, developed by those icons of sex therapy, Masters and Johnson, pushes blood out of the penis and momentarily decreases sexual tension and represses the ejaculatory response.

Pinpoint ejaculatory inevitability.
Masters and Johnson broke the process of sexual response into four phases: excitement, plateau, orgasm, and resolution. It's the plateau and orgasm phases we're most concerned with, as most men crash through the former, straight into the latter. The trick is to slow down and recognize that there's a spectrum of feelings throughout the process of sexual response and to recognize your own point of ejaculatory inevitability. Rate your sexual excitement on a scale of 1 to 10. Try keeping yourself at 7.

Sexercise.Do your Kegels.
A Kegel is an exercise that helps tighten the pubococcygeal (PC) muscles of the pelvic floor. Both men and women have them, and you can become familiar with the muscle group by cutting off the flow of urine and then starting and stopping it repeatedly. (Begin with a full bladder.) Once you have the exercise down, practice your Kegels anywhere: at your desk, behind the wheel. Tighten your PC muscles and hold for a count of 10, then release. Practice in sets of 10. Stronger PC muscles will help you exercise ejaculatory control when you approach the point of inevitability.

Press, don't thrust.
Tease her, taunt her: Press the head of your penis into her clitoral head. Linger in her vaginal entrance, where the most sensitive nerve endings are. When you do have intercourse, focus on small, shallow movements that penetrate the first 2 to 3 inches of her vaginal canal. Press your penis against her G-spot. You'll last longer if you're not thrusting vigorously.

Show a little courtesy.
Ladies first, gentlemen--and I'm talking about more than just holding the door open. Keep your woman happy. Women have an innate capacity to experience multiple orgasms. When you help her to her first one, it relieves you of some of the pressure to please and the psychological anxiety that feeds into PE. Use your fingers; use your mouth.

Stupidity Prevail

Ever been in a situation where out of nowhere a stranger came over you and start telling about your family histories and how all of a sudden you are related to him. This was what happened today, I asked the dumbest questions out of all 'smart' questions existed.

*sitting in the library reading some updates on football*

Him: Hey, you are Keng Yeow's son rite?? (Keng Yeow is my dad)

Me: huh??*blur* how do u noe??

Him: We are related thou, I stay in Jalan Tembusu and my dad is a tamil and my mom is a chinese.

Me: Really,(slightly gettin the picture of who he is talking) ooowh~ I remembered, Ur brother and U used to cycle around the Melawis area riteee??

Him: Yeap!!!

Me: Your mom passed away recently rite??
*wat the fuck I just said???? those words came out nonchalantly, WTF!! is wrong wit me*


---------------------------------DEAD SILENCE---------------------------------

Him: *Nod his head*

Me: Anyway, I'm goin off, see ya later... *quickly walk off*

I seriously need to improve on my communication skills, instead of asking his name and what course he is currently doing, I went and talk about his mother.... DAMN! the influence of Nigel & Derren are gonna screw up my social life. I shall go talk to him in a proper manner and maybe apologize to him about how blur I was yesterday. Proud to say that I have another 2 cousins in Taylors apart from Leena who is doin Law... Wooohoooo!..Discovery of the day..

Charity Drive 2007 @ Taylors U.C.Malaysia

The whole event was great, especially with our class managed to sell all the cupcakes made by Leena in about 2 hours. 130 in total, each selling for RM2, and 2 for RM3..

To top it up,
everyone enjoyed, I enjoyed, loads of happy faces, loads of wet people and a lot of money goes to charity instead of my pocket as purchasing is mainly done in coupons..
Picture will illustrate the event better.

Have A Nice Day!!!~ =)

p/s: I feel guilty for skipping 2 classes, Sociology & Law though it's only an hour together.... Sam student is so hostile..