30 Things To Stop Doing To Yourself

As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”  Nothing could be closer to the truth.  But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back.

Here are some ideas to get you started:

1. Stop spending time with the wrong people. – Life is too short to spend time with people who suck the happiness out of you.  If someone wants you in their life, they’ll make room for you.  You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot.  Never, ever insist yourself to someone who continuously overlooks your worth.  And remember, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand beside you when you’re at your worst that are your true friends.
2. Stop running from your problems. – Face them head on.  No, it won’t be easy.  There is no person in the world capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them.  We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve problems.  That’s not how we’re made.  In fact, we’re made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall.  Because that’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time.  This is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Stop lying to yourself. – You can lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself.  Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and most difficult chance we can take is to be honest with ourselves.  Read The Road Less Traveled.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner. – The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are special too.  Yes, help others; but help yourself too.  If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and do something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Stop trying to be someone you’re not. – One of the greatest challenges in life is being yourself in a world that’s trying to make you likeeveryone else.  Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you.  Don’t change so people will like you.  Be yourself and the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past. – You can’t start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one.
7. Stop being scared to make a mistake. – Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing.  Every success has a trail of failures behind it, and every failure is leading towards success.  You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did.
8. Stop berating yourself for old mistakes. – We may love the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter how things go wrong, one thing is for sure, mistakes help us find the person and things that are right for us.  We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past.  But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future.  Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Stop trying to buy happiness. – Many of the things we desire are expensive.  But the truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness. – If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either.  You have to create stability in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.  Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11. Stop being idle. – Don’t think too much or you’ll create a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place.  Evaluate situations and take decisive action.  You cannot change what you refuse to confront.  Making progress involves risk.  Period!  You can’t make it to second base with your foot on first.
12. Stop thinking you’re not ready. – Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises.  Because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first.
13. Stop getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons. – Relationships must be chosen wisely.  It’s better to be alone than to be in bad company.  There’s no need to rush.  If something is meant to be, it will happen – in the right time, with the right person, and for the best reason. Fall in love when you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Stop rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work. – In life you’ll realize that there is a purpose for everyone you meet.  Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you.  But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else. – Don’t worry about what others are doing better than you.  Concentrate on beating your own records every day.  Success is a battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Stop being jealous of others. – Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own.  Ask yourself this:  “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself. – Life’s curveballs are thrown for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that is meant for you.  You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it may be tough.  But reflect back on those negative curveballs thrown at you in the past.  You’ll often see that eventually they led you to a better place, person, state of mind, or situation.  So smile!  Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges. – Don’t live your life with hate in your heart.  You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate.  Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.”  It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.”  Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself!  And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too.  If you must, forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Stop letting others bring you down to their level. – Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who refuse to raise theirs.
20. Stop wasting time explaining yourself to others. – Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway.  Just do what you know in your heart is right.
21. Stop doing the same things over and over without taking a break. – The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it.  If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting what you’re getting.  Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly.
22. Stop overlooking the beauty of small moments. – Enjoy the little things, because one day you may look back and discover they were the big things.  The best portion of your life will be the small, nameless moments you spend smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Stop trying to make things perfect. – The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done.  Read Getting Things Done.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance. – Life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile.  Don’t take the easy way out.  Do something extraordinary.
25. Stop acting like everything is fine if it isn’t. – It’s okay to fall apart for a little while.  You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well.  You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears.  The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles. – The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life.  When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Stop trying to be everything to everyone. – Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out.  But making one person smile CAN change the world.  Maybe not the whole world, but their world.  So narrow your focus.
28. Stop worrying so much. – Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, it will strip today of its joy.  One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself this question: “Will this matter in one year’s time?  Three years?  Five years?”  If not, then it’s not worth worrying about.
29. Stop focusing on what you don’t want to happen. – Focus on what you do want to happen.  Positive thinking is at the forefront of every great success story.  If you awake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right.
30. Stop being ungrateful. – No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day thankful for your life.  Someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs.  Instead of thinking about what you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing.

Fruit Of The Poisonous Tree Doctrine

The "fruit of the poisonous tree" doctrine is an offspring of the Exclusionary Rule. The exclusionary rule mandates that evidence obtained from an illegal arrest, unreasonable search, or coercive interrogation must be excluded from trial. Under the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine, evidence is also excluded from trial if it was gained through evidence uncovered in an illegal arrest, unreasonable search, or coercive interrogation. Like the exclusionary rule, the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine was established primarily to deter law enforcement from violating rights against unreasonable searches and seizures.

The name fruit of the poisonous tree is thus a metaphor: the poisonous tree is evidence seized in an illegal arrest, search, or interrogation by law enforcement. The fruit of this poisonous tree is evidence later discovered because of knowledge gained from the first illegal search, arrest, or interrogation. The poisonous tree and the fruit are both excluded from a criminal trial.

Assume that a police officer searches the automobile of a person stopped for a minor traffic violation. This violation is the only reason the officer conducts the search; nothing indicates that the driver is impaired by drugs or alcohol, and no other circumstances would lead a reasonable officer to believe that the car contains evidence of a crime. This is an unreasonable search under the Fourth Amendment to the U.S. Constitution.

Assume further that the officer finds a small amount of marijuana in the vehicle. The driver is subsequently charged with possession of a controlled substance and chooses to go to trial. The marijuana evidence culled from this search is excluded from trial under the exclusionary rule, and the criminal charges are dropped for lack of evidence.

Also suppose that before the original charges are dismissed, the police officers ask a magistrate or judge for a warrant to search the home of the driver. The only evidence used as a basis, or Probable Cause, for the warrant is the small amount of marijuana found in the vehicle search. The magistrate, unaware that the marijuana was uncovered in an illegal search, approves the warrant for the home search.

The officers search the driver's home and find a lawn mower stolen from a local park facility. Under the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine, the lawn mower must be excluded from any trial on theft charges because the search of the house was based on evidence gathered in a previous illegal search.

The Supreme Court first hinted at the fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine in Silverthorne Lumber Co. v. United States, 251 U.S. 385, 40 S. Ct. 182, 64 L. Ed. 319 (1920). In Silverthorne, defendant Frederick W. Silverthorne was arrested on suspicion of federal violations in connection with his lumber business. Government agents then conducted a warrantless, illegal search of the Silver-thorne offices. Based on the evidence discovered in the search, the prosecution requested more documents, and the court ordered Silverthorne to produce the documents. Silverthorne refused and was jailed for Contempt of court.

On appeal, the Supreme Court reversed the contempt judgment. In its argument to the High Court, the government conceded that the search was illegal and that the prosecution was not entitled to keep the documents obtained in it. However, the government held that it was entitled to copy the documents and use knowledge gained from the documents for future prosecution. The Court rejected this argument. According to the Court, "[T]he essence of forbidding the acquisition of evidence in a certain way is that … it shall not be used at all." Silverthorne concerned only evidence gained in the first illegal search or seizure, but the wording of the opinion paved the way for the exclusion of evidence gained in sub-sequent searches and seizures.

The term fruit of the poisonous tree was first used in Nardone v. United States, 308 U.S. 338, 60 S. Ct. 266, 84 L. Ed. 307 (1939). In Nardone, Frank C. Nardone appealed his convictions for Smuggling and concealing alcohol and for conspiracy to do the same. In an earlier decision, the High Court had ruled that an interception of Nardone's telephone conversations by government agents violated the Communications Act of 1934 (47 U.S.C.A. § 605). The issue before the Court was whether the trial court erred in refusing to allow Nardone's lawyer to question the prosecution on whether, and in what way, it had used information obtained in the illegal wire tapping.

In reversing Nardone's convictions, the Court stated that once a defendant has established that evidence was illegally seized, the trial court "must give opportunity, however closely confined, to the accused to prove that a substantial portion of the case against him was a fruit of the poisonous tree." The Nardone opinion established that evidence obtained in violation of a statute was subject to exclusion if it was obtained in violation of a statutory right.

The fruit of the poisonous tree doctrine was first held applicable to Fourth Amendment violations in the landmark case Wong Sun v. United States, 371 U.S. 471, 83 S. Ct. 407, 9 L. Ed. 2d 441 (1963). The Court in Wong Sun also set forth the test for determining how closely derivative evidence must be related to illegally obtained evidence to warrant exclusion.

In Wong Sun, a number of federal narcotics agents had arrested Hom Way in San Francisco at 2:00 A.M. on June 4, 1959, on suspicion of narcotics activity. Although the agents had been watching Way for six weeks, they did not have a warrant for his arrest. Way was searched, and the agents found heroin in his possession. After his arrest, Way stated that he had bought an ounce of heroin the night before from Blackie Toy, the proprietor of a laundry on Leavenworth Street.

Though Way had never been an informant for the police, the agents cruised Leavenworth Street. At 6:00 A.M., they stopped at Oye's Laundry. The rest of the agents remained out of sight while Agent Alton Wong rang the bell. When James Wah Toy answered the door, Wong said he was there for laundry and dry cleaning. Toy answered that he did not open until 8:00 A.M. and started to close the door. Wong then identified himself as a federal narcotics agent. Toy slammed the door and began to run down the hallway, through the laundry, and to his bedroom, where his wife and child were sleeping. Again without a warrant, Wong and the other agents broke open the door, followed Toy, and arrested him. A search of the premises uncovered no illegal drugs.

While Toy was in handcuffs, one of the agents told him that Way had said Toy sold Way narcotics. Toy denied selling narcotics, but then said he knew someone who had. When asked who, Toy answered that he knew the man only as "Johnny." Toy told the officers that "Johnny" lived on Eleventh Avenue, and then he described the house. Toy also volunteered that "Johnny" kept about an ounce of heroin in his bedroom, and that he and "Johnny" had smoked some heroin the night before.

The agents left and located the house on Eleventh Avenue. Without a search or an arrest warrant, they entered the home, went to the bedroom, and found Johnny Yee. After a "discussion" with the agents, Yee surrendered a little less than one ounce of heroin.

The same morning, Yee and Toy were taken to the office of the Bureau of Narcotics. While in custody there, Yee stated that he had gotten the heroin about four days earlier from Toy and another person he knew as "Sea Dog." The agents then asked Toy about "Sea Dog," and Toy identified "Sea Dog" as Wong Sun. Some of the agents took Toy to Sun's neighborhood, where Toy pointed out Sun's house. The agents walked past Sun's wife and arrested Sun, who had been sleeping in his bedroom. A search of the premises turned up no illegal drugs.

Toy and Yee were arraigned in federal court on June 4, 1959, and Sun was arraigned the next day. All were released without bail. A few days later, Toy, Yee, and Sun were interrogated separately at the Narcotics Bureau by Agent William Wong. Sun and Toy made written statements but refused to sign them.

Sun and Toy were tried jointly on charges of transporting and concealing narcotics in violation of 21 U.S.C.A. § 174. Way did not testify at the trial. The government offered Yee as its principal witness, but Yee recanted his statement to Agent William Wong and invoked his Fifth Amendment right against Self-Incrimination. With only four items in evidence, Sun and Toy were convicted by the court in a bench trial. The Court of Appeals for the Ninth Circuit affirmed the convictions (Wong Sun, 288 F.2d 366 (9th Cir. 1961)). Sun and Toy appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

The Supreme Court accepted the case and reversed the convictions. The Court began its analysis by noting that the court of appeals had held that the arrests of both Sun and Toy were illegal. The question was whether the four items in evidence against Sun and Toy were admissible despite the illegality of the arrests. The four pieces of evidence were the oral statements made by Toy in his bedroom at the time of his arrest, the heroin surrendered to the agents by Yee, Toy's unsigned statement to Agent William Wong, and Sun's unsigned statement to Agent William Wong.

The government submitted several theories to support the proposition that the statements made by Toy in his bedroom were properly admitted at trial. The Court rejected all the arguments. According to the Court, the arrest was illegal because the agents had no evidence supporting it other than the word of Way, an arrestee who had never been an informer for law enforcement. The officers did not even know whether Toy was the person they were looking for. Furthermore, Toy's flight did not give the officers probable cause to arrest Toy: Agent Alton Wong had first posed as a customer, and this made Toy's flight ambiguous and not necessarily the product of a guilty mind. Thus, under the exclusionary rule, the oral statements made by Toy in his bedroom should not have been allowed at trial.

The Court then turned to the actual drug evidence seized from Yee. The Court, in deference to Nardone, stated, "We need not hold that all evidence is 'fruit of the poisonous tree.'" Instead, the question in such a situation was "'whether, granting establishment of the primary illegality, the evidence … has been come at by exploitation of that illegality or instead by means sufficiently distinguishable to be purged of the primary taint.'"

According to the Court, the narcotics in Wong Sun were indeed "come at" by use of Toy's statements. Toy's statements were, in fact, the only evidence used to justify entrance to Yee's bedroom. Since the statements by Toy were inadmissible, the narcotics in Yee's possession were also inadmissible, as fruit of the poisonous tree. The Court went on to hold that Sun's written statements about Toy should also have been excluded as Hearsay, and the Court ultimately overturned Toy's conviction.

The Court did not reverse Sun's conviction. The heroin in Yee's possession was admissible at trial, as was Sun's own statement. According to the Court, "The exclusion of narcotics as to Toy was required solely by their tainted relationship to information unlawfully obtained from Toy, and not by any official impropriety connected with their surrender by Yee." The Court did, however, grant Sun a new trial, because it was unable to conclude that Toy's statements, erroneously admitted at trial as evidence against Sun, had not affected the verdict. The Court advised that on remand and in similar cases, "particular care ought to be taken … when the crucial element of the accused's possession is proved solely by his own admissions."

In determining whether evidence is fruit of a poisonous tree, the trial court judge must examine all the facts surrounding the initial seizure of evidence and the subsequent gathering of evidence. This determination is usually made by the judge in a suppression hearing held before trial. In this hearing, the judge must first determine that an illegal search or seizure occurred and then decide whether the evidence was obtained as a result of the illegal search or seizure.

The Supreme Court found such a causal connection lacking in United States v. Ceccolini, 435 U.S. 268, 98 S. Ct. 1054, 55 L. Ed. 2d 268 (1978). In Ceccolini, Ralph Ceccolini was found guilty of perjury by a district court in New York. However, the court set aside the verdict after it threw out testimony by Lois Hennessey against Ceccolini. According to the district court, Hennessey's testimony was tied to an illegal search conducted a year earlier. The government appealed to the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit. The appeals court affirmed, and the government appealed to the U.S. Supreme Court.

According to the High Court, the exclusion of Hennessey's testimony was an error because sufficient time had elapsed to separate the illegal search from the testimony. Furthermore, Hennessey's testimony was not coerced by law enforcement officials as a result of the illegal search. An officer had questioned Hennessey four months after the search without specifically referring to the illegal search, and Hennessey volunteered the incriminating evidence against Ceccolini. The Court reversed, reasoning that the exclusion of testimony such as Hennessey's would not have a deterrent effect on misconduct by law enforcement officers.

Further readings

Fauver, Deborah. 2003. "Evidence Not Suppressed Despite Failure to Give Miranda Warning." Daily Record (St. Louis, Mo./St. Louis Countian) (October 14).

Hurley, Lawrence. 2003. "Reversal Leaves Federal Case Intact, Prosecutor Says." Daily Record (Baltimore, Md.) (June 2).

McCrackin, Sidney M., 1985."New York v. Quarles: The Public Safety Exception to Miranda." Tulane Law Review 59 (March).

How To Treat People

1. First Important Lesson - "Know The Cleaning Lady"

During my second month of college, our professor gave us a pop quiz. I was a conscientious student and had breezed through the questions, until I read the last one: "What is the first name of the woman who cleans the school?"

Surely this was some kind of joke. I had seen the cleaning woman several times. She was tall, dark-haired and in her 50s, but how would I know her name? I handed in my paper, leaving the last question blank. Just before class ended, one student asked if the last question would count toward our quiz grade.

"Absolutely," said the professor. "In your careers, you will meet many people. All are significant. They deserve your attention and care, even if all you do is smile and say "hello."

I've never forgotten that lesson. I also learned her name was Dorothy.


2. Second Important Lesson - "Pickup In The Rain"

One night, at 11:30 p.m., an older African American woman was standing on the side of an Alabama highway trying to endure a lashing rainstorm. Her car had broken down and she desperately needed a ride. Soaking wet, she decided to flag down the next car.

A young white man stopped to help her, generally unheard of in those conflict-filled 1960s. The man took her to safety, helped her get assistance and put her into a taxicab.

She seemed to be in a big hurry, but wrote down his address and thanked him. Seven days went by and a knock came on the man's door. To his surprise, a giant console color TV was delivered to his home.

A special note was attached. It read: "Thank you so much for assisting me on the highway the other night. The rain drenched not only my clothes, but also my spirits. Then you came along. Because of you, I was able to make it to my dying husband's bedside just before he passed away. God bless you for helping me and unselfishly serving others."

Sincerely, Mrs. Nat King Cole.


3. Third Important Lesson - "Remember Those Who Serve"

In the days when an ice cream sundae cost much less, a 10 year-old boy entered a hotel coffee shop and sat at a table. A waitress put a glass of water in front of him. "How much is an ice cream sundae?" he asked. "50¢," replied the waitress.

The little boy pulled his hand out of his pocket and studied the coins in it.

"Well, how much is a plain dish of ice cream?" he inquired. By now more people were waiting for a table and the waitress was growing impatient. "35¢!" she brusquely replied.

The little boy again counted his coins. "I'll have the plain ice cream," he said. The waitress brought the ice cream, put the bill on the table and walked away. The boy finished the ice cream, paid the cashier and left.

When the waitress came back, she began to cry as she wiped down the table. There, placed neatly beside the empty dish, were two nickels and five pennies. You see, he couldn't have the sundae, because he had to have enough left to leave her a tip.


4. Fourth Important Lesson - "The Obstacles In Our Path"

In ancient times, a King had a boulder placed on a roadway. Then he hid himself and watched to see if anyone would remove the huge rock. Some of the king's wealthiest merchants and courtiers came by and simply walked around it. Many loudly blamed the King for not keeping the roads clear, but none did anything about getting the stone out of the way.

Then a peasant came along carrying a load of vegetables. Upon approaching the boulder, the peasant laid down his burden and tried to move the stone to the side of the road. After much pushing and straining, he finally succeeded. After the peasant picked up his load of vegetables, he noticed a purse lying in the road where the boulder had been. The purse contained many gold coins and a note from the King indicating that the gold was for the person who removed the boulder from the roadway. The peasant learned what many of us never understand - "Every obstacle presents an opportunity to improve our condition."


5. Fifth Important Lesson - "Giving When It Counts"

Many years ago, when I worked as a volunteer at a hospital, I got to know a little girl named Liz who was suffering from a rare and serious disease. Her only chance of recovery appeared to be a blood transfusion from her 5-year-old brother, who had miraculously survived the same disease and had developed the antibodies needed to combat the illness. The doctor explained the situation to her little brother, and asked the little boy if he would be willing to give his blood to his sister. I saw him hesitate for only a moment before taking a deep breath and saying, "Yes, I'll do it if it will save her."

As the transfusion progressed, he lay in bed next to his sister and smiled, as we all did, seeing the color returning to her cheeks. Then his face grew pale and his smile faded. He looked up at the doctor and asked with a trembling voice, "Will I start to die right away?".

Being young, the little boy had misunderstood the doctor; he thought he was going to have to give his sister all of his blood in order to save her.

Installing Love

Installing Love 

Tech Support:   Yes, how can I help you?

Customer:         Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me through the process?

Tech Support:   Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer:          Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready- What do I do first?

Tech Support:   The first step is to open y our Heart.   Have you located   your Heart?

Customer:          Yes, but there are several other programs running now.
  Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support:   What programs are running ?

Customer:          Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support:  No problem. Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system.   It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer  disrupt other programs.    Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment.   Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed.   Can you turn those off?

Customer:         I don't know how to turn them off.   Can you tell me how?
  
Tech Support: With pleasure.  Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.  Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer:       Okay, done!  Love has started installing itself.   Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program.    You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.  

Customer:       Oops! I have an error message already.   It says, ' Error -  Program not run on external components' What should I do?
  
Tech Support:   Don't worry.   It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart.
In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer:          So, what should I do?
  

Tech Support:   Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files:  Forgive-Self; Realize your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer:         Okay, done.
  
Tech Support:   Now, copy them to the 'My Heart' directory.  The system will   overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming.   Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back

Customer:          Got it. Hey!  My heart is filling up with new files.   Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support:   Sometimes.  For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time.   So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware.  Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet.   They will in turn share it with others and return some cool  modules back to you.

Customer:          Thank you, God.

God/Tech Support: You're Welcome, Anytime. 
  

Long Live The Dragon

MY Christian friend who was here on a visit recently really wanted to buy traditional Chinese suits to take home as souvenirs. We took him to the famous Silk Street tourist shopping mall where he browsed from stall to stall but could not find anything that appealed to him.

“It’s not the price,” he explained. “It looks like every one of them has the dragon motif.”

Obviously, he did not want to have anything to do with the dragon. To the Chinese, the dragon is the national symbol, a mythical creature, benign, strong, righteous and protective, and it has influenced China’s culture and that of its neighbouring countries like Japan, Korea and Vietnam for thousands of years.

So, a traditional Chinese suit is not culturally correct without the dragon motif and many Westerners like it as it is. They like to have it on their T-shirts, their kungfu outfits and even have it fashionably tattooed on their bodies.

On the other hand, there are those, some Christians among them, who are not quite comfortable with the mythical creature. To them, the dragon is symbolic of evil and is offensive. As such, they don’t want to have anything to do with it.

As China continues to interact with the West and come under increasing Western influence, the dragon, like other things traditionally Chinese, is in a bit of trouble.

A storm is brewing on the Net over an out-of-the-box suggestion that it should be dethroned and replaced as the national symbol of China.

It all started with a proposal by the deputy president of the Shanghai Public Relations Association, Prof Wu Youfu, who feels that the iconic dragon may no longer be suitable as a national symbol of modern China.

According to a media report, Prof Wu argued that the dragon is seen in Western culture as a symbol of “arbitrariness and offensiveness” and, as such, does not fit the image of a rising China that’s a peaceful and harmonious nation.

Noting that the bias from Westerners who know little about China’s culture may cause a negative impact on the country, the report says that Prof Wu and his team are now working on a new symbol based on positive Chinese characteristics.

Although Prof Wu subsequently explained that the report was not quite correct, the controversy he sparked off is raging on nevertheless, as the suggestion has touched a raw nerve in the Chinese who are proud of their culture.

They feel so strongly about keeping the dragon as their national symbol regardless of the fact that it is not enshrined in the Constitution as a national symbol.

The Chinese website sina.com did a survey and found that 90% of 100,000 respondents wanted to keep the dragon as the Chinese icon.

However, one expert feels that the Chinese word long should be used instead of the English word “dragon” to avoid any negative connotation.

Pang Jin, director of the China Research Centre on Dragon and Phoenix Culture, explained that the dragon of the West and China’s are different.

He said the dragon in Western countries represents evil and is usually seen as a symbol of arbitrariness and offensiveness.

“However, the dragon in China is a supernatural animal that is always good without aggression. What is more, the dragon in Western culture is low in rank but in China it is a spiritual and cultural symbol representing prosperity and good luck,” he was quoted as saying.

Visually, the Chinese dragon is a combination of several animal parts. It has the horns of a deer, the head of a crocodile with bulging eyeballs, flared nostrils sprouting two lengths of hair and a goatee. It has the body of a snake and four legs with the claws of an eagle.

According to Chinese mythology, the dragon, which controls the weather and thus the fortune of the ancient agricultural society, always moves among the clouds.

It has permeated Chinese culture for thousands of years to the extent that it was adopted as the royal emblem of every Chinese dynasty. Accordingly, Chinese emperors sat on a dragon throne, wore a dragon robe, and slept on a dragon bed.

He lived and worked in royal palaces decorated with dragon motifs and was even buried in royal mausoleums decorated with similar motifs.

The dragon is also featured in tens of thousands of art works in various shapes and sizes and in different postures and appears in books, poems and in ancient architecture.

Such is the attraction of this mythical creature that many Chinese today still pride themselves as Long Di Chuan Ren or “Inheritors of the dragon (culture)” even though the creature is non-existent.

Prof Guan Shijie of Peking University was quoted as saying that to some extent the misconception of the Chinese dragon is due to faulty translation.

Thus, he suggested that the Chinese word long be used for the Chinese mascot to distinguish it from the baddie dragon of the West.

On the other hand, Prof Yu Guomin of Renmin University believes that a PR campaign is needed to spruce up the image of the Chinese dragon.

“If the ogre Shrek can become famous and loveable in America, I think the Chinese dragon can learn from it too,” he mused.

Quote of the Day

"Knowledge is like a candle, even as it lights another candle the strength of the original flame is not diminished" -Thomas Jeffereson-

Life is like our flame, with our flame we carry all of our prejudices, all of our knowledge and experiences. It is commonplace for people to share the light, and each flame burns brighter with the more experiences you feed into it.

Intellectuals and academics ritualize the process of increasing the intensity of their respective flames, and it grows and withers depending on how your flame is cared. We may find ourselves in a mental standstill in our lives, but it is instinctive to satisfy the hunger of our flames.

You may very well share your flame, but not everyone is so lucky. It seems that though some may be burning very brightly, like a beacon, there will always be the places of darkness. Some people don’t even realize their flame until it is only embers, in fact.

Even more necessary is that you must continue the burn. For when you part from this grave and wondrous reality, your flame extinguishes – only to leave embers behind. Many great philosophers and thinkers of our peoples still have the embers slowly burning, and others keep burning strong through the words and discoveries of those long deceased. It is the nature of humanity.

You may do what you wish with your flame, but it is far more noble to continue the flame. You may seek your own personal truths, but humanity will always be waiting for its savior to cleanse itself with the fire. We have some serious undergrowth that needs to be purged. I fear the light grows dimmer with every day’s passing.

Creep??

You may have seen our AskWomen video series, where we got some real women to have some drinks and answer your questions about whether a guy can ever get out of the friend zone, whether size matters and whether body hair is a deal breaker. Well, here's a single girl's opinion on more of your questions. Readers have been kept anonymous.

Q: What is the best way to approach and talk to women? I mean, on public transport, at a shopping center, at a club/event, when she is with her friends, etc.?

A: Let me preface this by saying that while I fully expect to be skewered again for not fully answering the question at hand, perhaps one might consider that the questions being asked here don't ever have definitive, universal answers. Much like queries involving the meaning of life and reality of soul mates, this is pretty person-specific. Here is this person’s answer:

The cold, hard truth of the matter is that a woman’s reaction to your approach varies wildly depending on how attractive she finds you. (No. 1 recommendation? Check out these 10 proven ways to improve your attractiveness.) Unless you have a special psychic sense that allows you intuit her personality, you're picking her up because of her looks. What most guys don't realize is that she's judging you the same way. If she thinks you’re super hot, your bad joke will probably go over way better than if she doesn’t.

That being said, it is, of course, still important to engage a girl right off the bat. In my opinion, the best way to do this is to incorporate one or both of the following: humor and context. That is, be funny, and try not to be totally random. Humor is in the ear of the beholder, but context is pretty easy to explain. For example, if you’re shopping at Trader Joe’s, and you see an attractive female picking up a bag of Party Meatballs, you could casually stroll up to her and say something relating to how often you party hard with those meatballs and your friends Franklin and Bash, the renegade lawyers who practice law on their own terms on the USA Network. (For the record, I would find this totally charming and hilarious, but I love both Party Meatballs and the character development on USA).

The point is that whatever you say, it helps if it's relevant to the situation you both find yourselves in. Women will appreciate that you pay enough attention to draw some parallel between the two of you, as opposed to a completely random statement that could essentially be directed at any girl in the world. By providing context, you’re creating a shared moment, and that is much more likely to engage her. So whether it’s about the song playing on the jukebox or her really awesome band T-shirt or her choice in toppings at the self-serve fro-yo place, commenting on your shared surroundings in a humorous way is the best way to go about it. 

What's also a pretty solid no-fail tactic is if you ask her a question with an "either/or" option, a question she'll be forced to give an answer to, and then -- no matter what her answer -- disagree with her. Never ask "yes" or "no" questions; you're just giving her an excuse to bow out. But something like, "My friends and I were just discussing something. What do you think: Harry Potter or Lord of The Rings?" And no matter what she says, shake your head and look puzzled, like she gave the wrong answer. It'll spark discussion and annoy her just enough to keep her in the conversation. 

It might not always work, but it’s for sure the least creepy approach. (For the record, commenting on how hot she is -- that's usually creepy and not awesome. Don’t do it.)

Source: http://au.askmen.com/dating/heidi/how-to-start-a-conversation.html?utm_source=01.%20AskMen%20Newsletter%20-%20ALL&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Weekly%20June%2001_4742_217068_217142&utm_content=6791238#ixzz1wzHmwGb8

Post-Relationships

Everyone has been dumped or dumped someone, but there is a formula for success in this game to make sure both parties survive the ego bruise.
Where was I when I discovered the trick to kicking the craziness that comes from getting dumped? I’m glad you asked. I was at the supermarket checkout, waiting beside the magazines. I seriously saw God. OK, it wasn’t actually God. It was a tiny, pocket-sized book about dealing with breakups. I don’t know how it got there (my guess is it fell out of an issue of Cosmo), but I was convinced that this travel sized self-help book was specifically there for me.


I burned through it before it was even my turn to pay for my discounted tortilla chips. I don’t remember much of what the book said, but what I do remember is that it used the word rejection about 8 million times. A guy who I was working with had just dumped me. I knew the breakup was coming. In fact, after two years we had started trying an open thing, which basically just allowed us to start new relationships before we had officially ended this one. 


When we officially broke up I wasn’t surprised, but it hit me hard later. I wanted this too, but he made the call. I was rejected first. Seeing him every Monday night was torture. During the week, I felt focused and free. I rarely thought of him, but come shift time on Mondays, I found myself dressing up for him as though that would change things. Rejection. Screw it. It was then that I realised getting dumped is simply a ego-bruise

There Is No Good Time To Break Up With Someone, Ever

How many times have you heard someone who was just dumped say, “And on New Years, so brutal” or “How could he/she do this so close to my dog’s birthday?” Get real.


Dumpers: There is never a good time to break up with someone, ever, so when you know you want out you should just buck up and do it. It’s far crueler to stay with someone out of pity, fear, cowardliness or laziness. While we’re on the subject of ripping the Band Aid off, if you have been hanging out with someone long enough to need to actually break it off to get out of seeing them, then a text is not an acceptable method of communication.
Dumpees: Life sucks. Toughen up. You are not alone.

Take A Break

I once had a two-year relationship with this guy we’ll call Dale. Dale was an incredible boyfriend. He had manners, he was hot, he was driven, witty and he was a slayer in bed. It was only when Dale and I broke up that I realised the magic of not speaking and how it can save your life after breaking up.


Dumpers: Do not text, phone, email, Facebook, Instagram, tweet or communicate with the person you broke up with for at least half the amount of time you were together, or until the person you dumped says it is OK. And even then, proceed with caution.
Dumpees: You know what rules about Facebook? You can hide people from your feed without deleting them. This is what you need to do when you have been dumped. (While we’re on the subject on Facebook, never put your relationship status on there, seriously. It sucks when you break up.) You also need to email the dumper and say you cannot speak until you feel OK. They will get it. Plus, they probably don’t want to talk to you for a while either. Ban yourself from communication and if you see them in public, say hello politely and move along. Restraint is what it’s all about here.

Don’t Ask Questions You Don’t Want To Hear The Answers To

Just don’t. Don’t ask about who your ex is sleeping with or what they were doing with that guy at that bar. Ignorance is bliss. Slip up, Sleep Together And You Are Doomed.


Dumpers: If you dump someone and you sleep with them, it’s not going to end well. They want more than just sex. They probably want to win you back because even if they know you shouldn’t be together, this whole game is about power. Don’t do it. You’ll be in a world of drama when it’s over.
Dumpees: As much as you want to sleep with your ex for whatever reason, it’s always a losing game. Again, restraint.

Focus on Yourself

Dumpers/Dumpees: You are now single. It’s time to focus on yourself and what you want. This is a liberating time. Never forget that. Breaking up is not the end of the world. There will be another relationship, another great love and another bad ending. It’s just life. We all do it and we’re all still here, aren’t we?

Souce: http://au.askmen.com/dating/dating_advice/breakup-rules.html?utm_source=01.%20AskMen%20Newsletter%20-%20ALL&utm_medium=email&utm_campaign=Weekly%20June%2001_4742_217068_217129&utm_content=6791238