Never Want To Let Go

I'm very grateful and thankful that YOU actually send me a blessing to guide me through this path of my life when everything is fragmented, and on the same time I took those blessings for granted and eventually now I'm dependent on it and never want to let it go for a better course.

But I'm constantly trying to let it go because I knew I don't deserve a beautiful blessing like this but eventually I just can't resist temptation. My inner self have been constantly telling me that she belongs to someone better. Someone that could give her a better living, a better life, a better love.

I have lost the courage to love,
I lose faith in myself.
I fear of losing her in the process.
I lost my confidence due to those past failures. I have been on the losing side and I already got used to it and now those feelings which has already been burried for a year wants resurrection which I'm not able to provide....

I'm not the person I used to be last time, how am I suppose to give the best of me and look after you..

I wish I have never travelled on this journey if I knew the destination would end up in this way. I wish for a perpetuation of time ; a journey that has no ending to it. And again nothing is eternal. Every happy thing will need to come to an end. 1 month counting and everything will all just be a dream again..